I recently read the unpublished draft of a manuscript that reminded me of something which hadn’t come up in some time. And this was the problem with material written in a passive voice. It’s easy to assume this is simple to understand via the well-touted converse implications of “The piano was being played by Mary” and “Mary was playing the piano,” but it’s often difficult for some writers to fully comprehend the unintended baggage passive voice brings with it.
Past Tense Shouldn’t be Confused with Passive Voice
As everyone knows, “John walks in the park” is present tense in an obvious active voice. We all learned in grammar school that “John walked in the park” is past tense, and also in an active voice. And that “John was walking in the park” is past progressive tense, but again in an active voice. We were also taught that “John has walked in the park” is present perfect tense in an active voice, and “John had walked in the park” is past perfect active tense. For anyone who has an understanding of the rudiments of English, this is about as basic as it gets, so what’s the problem?
Passive Voice Creates a Different Meaning
The “be’s and the “been’s” seem to creep into some amateur writing with ever-increasing frequency. Phrases tend to crop up like, “John had been walking through the park, then he spied Ellen strolling down the sidewalk.” The sentence would be fine, except it indicates that John was doing his walking in the past, and this is likely not what the author wanted to convey. Meaning, was the intent to imply that John had taken his walk a few hours earlier, or a day earlier, or a week earlier, then at this very moment saw Ellen strolling? Or is the author’s contention that John was in the process of walking and observed Ellen? Of course it was the latter, yet expressed as the former.
An Effective Fix that is Not Always a Simple One
One way to avoid passive voice is to find substitutions for “had” and “have.” It’s not always easy, and all-action verb writing can become overwhelming and annoying to the reader, but judicious alternatives for “had” and “have” will provide a summary remedy. A mess like “Loud rain had been falling on the roof” could be converted to “Rain pummeled the roof.” In the second phrase, the decibel level is obvious by the word “pummeled,” and the single-word verb, while taking the place of the three-word “had been falling,” conveniently places this scene in an active voice.
What about Too Many “Was’s” in a Perfectly Good Sentence?
This sentence is a no-brainer: While John was walking through the park, he was thinking about what was bothering him of late. The last “was” of course could be changed to “had been.” But this next sentence poses a not so easy fix: John was walking through the park, worried about what was happening in his life, and he was particularly concerned about what was occurring with his marriage. Even though everything is active in John’s mind, would not a “had been” help the flow by placing this in front of “happening.”
Let Your Ear Guide You, but Stick to Active Voice as Much as Possible
So while there are times when it’s advisable to interject a passive element, let this be predicated in large measure by how the sentence sounds when it’s read out loud. Just keep in mind that it’s far and away best to write in an active voice whenever possible.
Stumble Upon
Del.icio.us
Buzz
Never is it truer that the human mind works in strange ways than when an author finds his or her draft littered with the same words or phrases. What makes this particularly galling is that proficient writers strive not to do this, yet quite often are unable to prevent syntax which is redundant–or reads as repetitive–from appearing on a page.
Words That Stand Out–Unfortunately
Oddly, it’s the words that are most ordinary which can often cause the most grief.
Words such as “because” or “become,” should they be placed in consecutive sentences or paragraphs (even lengthy ones), can stick in the reader’s mind as redundant. Along this line of commonality, too many “was’s” can gum up an otherwise good run of narrative. Word repetition can be as hard on the reader as the excessive use of specialty punctuation such as the semi-colon or the exclamation point.
Some More of The Usual Suspects
Another chronic problem is the word “would,” since the options for a suitable substitute generally are limited to “should” and “could,” at best. Perhaps the greatest difficulty of all is what to use after the first “but.” “However,” “yet,” and even “except,” can often serve in a pinch, but–well, you see the problem.
The Fix for Overuse of the Conjunction “But”
The best way to remedy repeating the conjunction “but” is to begin a new sentence as if it were an extended thought and not a contrary view. Example: John saw Mary in the park, but didn’t like the guy she was with, so he kept walking. Rewrite as: John saw Mary in the park. He didn’t like the guy she was with, so he kept walking.
Select Alternates for Prepositions
“Afterwards” can become “later,” just as “under” can often be modified to read “below” and not deprecate the writer’s intent. And while we are trained to use one word to take the place of many, it’s sometimes prudent to write “at this time” instead of a redundant “now.” Even a “presently” might need to be inserted instead of “now” to prevent duplication.
Homonyms are Just as Bad as Repeating Words
I recently read a draft with the following phrase: The weather was going to determine whether or not they would be going out. This is an easy sentence to repair by substituting “if” for “whether,” and dropping the “or not.” But it’s not always simple to spot a problem. In this following sentence, the syntax might be ignored: Every fall, John would haul wood in his wheelbarrow. And even something more blatant might be missed, such as: It was too much to bear, and I barely got the words out.
Both Complicated or Sophisticated Words Must be Watched
When a writer uses words such as “conflagration” or “beatification,” these can only be placed in a novel once. And I don’t even like to see them in multiple novels by the same author. The latter comment might seem a stretch, but when an author develops an unintended tic, this isn’t good, since it makes the writing stale in the eyes of the loyal reader.
Phrases, Especially Clever One’s, Cannot be Used Again
A slick phrase will stay with the reader, and the ability to craft this sort of rhetoric is often why people lean toward certain authors. But it’s important to keep in mind that the inherent nature of a unique rift of narrative is what will be remembered. A phrase like the following, including the adjective predicate by itself, can only be written one time: His face contorted, as if the result of an unpleasant musical note of his own making. One contorted face per book, please, regardless of how it got that way,
But What if there are Only so Many Ways Something can be Written?
When I’m writing a police thriller, I often run into a problem with the word “policeman.” After perhaps following it with “cop,” and later “officer,” then “patrolman” (if it fits), I’m forced to return to the first noun. There are indeed times when there are only so many options to identify a person by name or profession and still be accurate. In the “policeman” example, if the person’s last name is Jones, creating Patrolman Jones, Officer Jones, or offering just plain Jones to the mix in a long scene may still not be enough, and there will be no choice but to repeat a handle.
Yet when it’s deemed necessary to restate a name in the same sentence, this should be an extremely rare occurrence and every attempt should be made to write around this sort of thing. And it’s important to keep in mind that no matter how problematic the text might read when certain words continue to reappear, redundant phrases can leave a much more negative impression of the narrative.
Many Agents Do Not Accept Unsolicited Manuscripts
In the fiction area of the book-agenting arena, other than some agents/agencies now requesting or requiring submissions via E-mail, the rules for presenting preliminary material have not changed appreciably in the past 15 to 20 years. What has changed is the number of agents who no longer accept unsolicited material or work that has not been referred by someone with whom that agent has a business relationship, such as a respected colleague, writer, or editor.
To Succeed in Finding an Agent, Create and Follow a Plan
But while the submission guidelines are still relatively unchanged depending on
the agent: one-page query; query with five pages; query, synopsis, five pages; query, synopsis, first three chapters, etc., breaking through is more difficult than every. A writer can save a great deal of aggravation, time, and expense by creating and following a plan that enables the potential for agent review to be in the author’s favor from the outset.
Identify the Sub-Genre in which your Manuscript is Written
First, it is critical for a writer to recognize in which sub-genre his/her work fits. For example, depending on who you talk to, there are now more than two dozen subsets in
the Suspense category, alone. Source agents who have found publishers for works in sub-genres the same as that in which your manuscript is written. The AAR web site is a great place to start, and another excellent free site is agentquery.com.
Query the Agents who Represent Authors your Style Emulates
Another option, if your story is written in the style of a well-known author, is to check the Acknowledgments page of a book by that writer, for his or her agent. Query this agent–even if the person professes not to accept unsolicited material. The worst that can happen is a rejection. But you could receive a request to see a portion of your novel, and there is a solid reason why:
Agents work in Genres in which they are Successful
People are generally most comfortable with what they know. Agents are no different. Familiarity, in this instance, is most often an asset and not a liability. Agents want books they feel they can sell, and will gravitate toward genres in which they have positive history.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
A great deal is written about the importance of a strong opening for a novel, and especially if a fantastic hook can be created in the first paragraph or two. And much effort
is devoted to the significance of a terrific title. But little time is spent discussing a brilliant ending. Yet doesn’t a powerful finish to a story deserve equal shrift with the aforementioned heavyweights? There are several options and techniques that respected writers have utilized to leave the reader with a lasting impression of a work.
The Poignant Ending is Example Number One
Some years ago I was discussing powerful endings for novels with a long-time mentor and friend of mine, Noel King, who I’m sad to note has recently passed away. My erudite friend mentioned that he’d never found anything more dramatic than the ending of A FAREWELL TO ARMS, in which the lieutenant must leave his wife’s body as it lay in a
hospital bed after she hemorrhaged to death, also losing their unborn child in the process. Hemingway wrote: It was like saying good-by to a statue. I went out and left the hospital and walked back to the hotel in the rain.
I might also offer the ending in THE FIXER as an example of an incredibly powerful finish: Some, as the carriage clattered by and they glimpsed the fixer, were openly weeping, wringing their hands. One thinly bearded man clawed his face. One or two waved at Yakov. Some shouted his name. In THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, I have never forgotten Hugo’s line describing Quasimodo’s remains when they were touched: When an attempt was made to loosen him from the skeleton which he clasped, he crumbled into dust. And I still recall my grief at the ending of Kipling’s THE LIGHT THAT FAILED: Torpenhow knelt under the lee of the camel, with Dick’s body in his arms.
Love Conquering All Seems to be a Certain Path to Success
At the opposite extreme is the Shakespearean approach to his comedies, in which
love conquering all is the overriding theme. A Romance writer almost always provides a satisfying ending when the heroine gets her man. Or on occasion vice versa. Along these same lines, a writer of commercial fiction can be relatively comfortable if he or she can craft a story that fulfills the reader’s aspirations for the protagonist, regardless of the trials and tribulations along the way.
An Open Thread is Often a Great Mechanism to Close a Novel
If we think about some of our most widely read contemporary authors, the opportunity at the end of a story to provide the hint for a sequel is never overlooked. James Patterson does this as well as anyone, and a good reason why so many people come back for more of his material. (He has 31 #1 New York Times bestsellers as of this article, which is a record, and not bad for someone who many in the literati deem to be a poor writer.) Thomas Harris did a spectacular job with open threads in the Hannibal series, especially the ones that involved Lector always eluding the FBI at the end. Libraries are full of stories that begat stories, some of which were flagrantly presaged in the endings of their predecessors. Handled with care, this is a terrific way to close a novel, but it requires skill so the reader doesn’t feel shortchanged.
Which Brings us to the Denouement
Here is arguably the most common but quite often most difficult type of ending for a lot of writers to pull off well. I often judge the skill of the writer, and hence the quality of the story, by how much the author has to explain at the end for the reader. In some cases, a detailed denouement is indeed necessary to provide the reader with a fuller understanding of some of the less significant but nonetheless still important plot elements. But if handled poorly, a lengthy, multi-leveled denouement can be a sign of either lazy writing–or a self-exposition of the limitations of the author.
Select a Closing that Will Make the Reader Remember Your Story
The ability to create a memorable closing brings me to GONE WITH THE WIND, and Scarlett saying: “…after all, tomorrow is another day.” Here is a book of over 300,000
words that is filled with rich characters and grand characterizations, yet if I asked 100 people who read the book at any time in their respective lives to recite the last line, the majority would be able to do so, or at least come close.
Give the Same Effort to the Ending as to the Opening
The ability to hook the reader at the earliest possible stage of the narrative is an integral component of any novelist’s thought process. Experienced writers are always considering ways to motivate people to read their next book. There is no better method than by providing a satisfying ending to their current work, regardless of the technique that is used. And I’m convinced that notable writers spend as much time on their endings as they do on their openings. It only makes sense.
Nothing is more critical than the first few lines of a story, since this will often influence whether or not a reader will continue with a work. And a great opening is never more important than for both the budding author who is trying to acquire an agent or publisher and the non-established writer who is desiring to expand an audience.
Writer’s like Dickens and Woolf Provide a Lofty Pedestal
It would be wonderful if lines like “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” or “Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself,” were on the forefront of our thinking when we first sat down at a keyboard. The reality, however, is that this is not how it plays out for most of us mere mortals. But there are ways to attract a reader without having to conjure up the catch phrase of the century.
Think Along the Lines of Larry McMurtry
Larry McMurtry opened A DEAD MAN’S WALK by telling the reader about a naked 200 lb. prostitute, nicknamed The Great Western, walking down the street while carrying a snapping turtle. If into westerns, who wouldn’t want to find out why this woman was involved with this seemingly inane activity? The same as a feminist would be immediately taken by Clarissa Dalloway’s opening salvo.
But What if it Requires Time to Set up the Introduction to the Story?
This is when it gets sticky. Yet not impossible to remedy. A suggestion is to find the single most prominent element of the entirety of the opening and maneuver this to the top of the first page, and then write from that point forward. This might seem difficult, if not impossible, but with a little practice it can be done.
A good exercise is to write a page on a random topic–not considered previously–then locate the most significant facet of the text and place this as the lead sentence. Now rewrite the page with the narrative following this new opening. It might not be a bad idea to do this several times, each with a new topic, and then apply this technique to your novel’s opening.
The Opening Requires the Same Effort as the Book’s Title
It is prudent to apply the same effort for the opening as was expended to come up with the title for the work. Often, however, much more time is spent on determining the title. If this should happen to be the case (from the perspective of the amount of time spent on each), it could be suggested to reverse the process. A solid opening, whether it be a single paragraph or several, will eliminate the need to try to create one-line intro’s like “Who is John Galt?” or “They call me Ishmael,” which only happen on the rarest of occasions by even literature’s most esteemed writers.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
During writing workshops I facilitate that are sponsored by The Palm Beach County Library System, I am often informed by the participants of the difficulties they are having with crafting a suitable ending for their respective novels. When this issue is raised, if the writer hasn’t already done so, I always suggest setting up a storyboard.
Just What is a Storyboard?
A storyboard is a diagram, either simple or complex, that if properly designed will contain a start, a middle, and an end. Consequently, in an of itself, it enables a writer
to concentrate on “filling in” each element. But it is also much more, since it provides a template from which to also create developmental arcs for both the characters as well as the scene depictions that are critical to the story line.
Some people say they can start a project and come up with an ending later. Others say this is bull, and in stronger terms. I don’t know what is the correct answer, but I do know many writers, and some quite good ones, who have discontinued a project because of frustration over not being able to “close the deal.”
If Not Already Determined, a Storyboard Forces a Writer to Consider a Conclusion
A writer can lay out the characters and the plot points via a simple macro format that establishes the major elements. Once the basic storyboard is accomplished, any degree of layering can be used, from the most basic to something that looks like it was generated by an astrophysicist at NASA. And by its very dynamic, a storyboard motivates the writer to come up with a conclusion.
A storyboard can be as simple as the example to follow and still be quite effective:
Joan meets John. Joan marries John. Joan is miserable. Joan shoots John. Joan escapes to Alaska. Joan changes name to Jenna and marries man who becomes governor. Joan/Jenna is blackmailed by ex-friend from back home who is aware of her past. If a storyboard is laid out to this point, most people can easily come up with a feasible scenario for an ending.
Setting up a storyboard can be a sound way of creating a working model with at least the guise of an achievable conclusion. Perhaps not what it will be in its final form, but an ending nonetheless, and a finale that the whole of the narrative can be written toward.
A Book on Screenplay Writing can be an Invaluable Aid for Understanding How to Design a Storyboard
Early in my Developmental Workshop Series I recommend a couple of books on screenwriting that I’ve found to help writers struggling with an ending for a story. SCREENPLAY, by Syd Field, is my favorite, followed closely by THE ELEMENTS OF SCREENWRITING, by Irwin R. Blacker. Both books have been around a long time and reprinted ad infinitum.
Field’s book includes a wide array of diagrams that I think can help many writers. And
if Blacker’s keen insights are applied, a writer can make great strides at learning ways to enable a story to reach a satisfying conclusion. Because, as Blacker says, “When the conflict is resolved, the story ends.” Perhaps not earth-shattering words, but within them is the key to the problem for many authors. Also, when a writer sees his or her plot via a storyboard, it’s not only a wonderful source of motivation, but it can provide a reliable means to help keep the narrative on course.
When a Semi-Colon Doesn’t Fit the Syntax
A writer friend of mine, who’d had four books published by major houses at the time
we were speaking, critiqued something I wrote in which I had used a semi-colon to set
off a series in a section of comedy relief that read something like this: John wanted to
own a farm, but without many common animals; namely, dogs, cats, cows, and horses.
He suggested a colon for this sort of series, so the phrase would read: John wanted to own a farm, but without many common animals: dogs, cats, cows, and horses. (We can argue the comma preceding the last item in both examples some other time). I wasn’t sold on
my friend’s recommendation until I sat alone with the phrase and read it aloud both ways. Once I did this, from the perspective of fluency, it was obvious the colon was the better punctuation choice.
Is a Semi-Colon a Good Fit in Exposition in most Fiction?
Many learned people say semi-colons don’t belong in fiction (especially commercial fiction). The contention is that a semi-colon tends to stop the reader. Yet I recently read,
in a book on contemporary fiction writing by a well-known author/agent, an eloquent if not passionate plea supporting the use of semi-colons. But, to the first point, some feel semi-colons inhibit fluent prose and might even push many writers toward Faulknerian length material; and, for this reason, semi-colons should be eschewed at all costs. Consider the sentence you just read. Does it read better if broken into two sentences? or would the sentence be improved if the semi-colon was converted to a comma and “for this reason” sans any punctuation? Could it be that the original construction is superior to either suggestion? You be the judge.
What About the Use of a Semi-Colon in Dialogue?
Even a short article such as this would be woefully incomplete if the semi-colon and its potential integration into dialogue was not broached. Some astute literary experts would never consider setting a semi-colon in a rift of dialogue. The suggestion would be to “write around” the speaker’s words so the reader shouldn’t be confronted with a semi-colon. However, while people are not parsing what they hear for punctuation, is the reader of printed dialogue so quick to dismiss punctuation necessary to portray properly spoken syntax?
A multitude of semi-colon naysayers would vilify a sentence written in which a character is saying to his friend as they are walking after someone in a crowd, “She looked back; no, I was wrong, she didn’t.” But is this spit of dialogue so horrible? If so, what is the more suitable element of punctuation to express the meter of the speaker’s tongue in his reaction to the moment? Does a period after “back,” and a new sentence beginning with “No,” convey the same degree of angst? And how would using all commas impact the flow? I think most might agree–not well.
What is the Answer?
What is correct–and what is not–in many instances is a matter of style and not grammar. Semi-colons are not evil. To the contrary, they often contribute great value. But, like any specialty punctuation, there can be a problem if overused. However, not utilizing semi-colons may be ignoring a marvelous tool for enabling a narrative to excel, and for providing a writer with a means to display greater proficiency in the art of crafting quality prose.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Never Might be too Strong, but Seldom is Quite Correct
I’ve taken a little literary license with the title of this article, since to write that an exclamation point should never be used in a novel is preposterous. But to also state that this medium for emphasis should be used sparingly would not be out of line. Some experts feel that exclamation points are the sign of a lazy writer, or worse–an amateur. Whether
the rationale for either opinion is sound or not, there are well-grounded reasons for both.
An Exclamation Point can Support Lazy Telling and not Energetic Showing
To explore the first assumption, this forces the consideration of Showing versus Telling from yet another perspective. The line, John was shocked! eliminates what could amount
to many pages (or at least a couple lines) of exposition describing what had contributed to poor John’s frenetic condition. While lessening the rhetorical load, without adequate support for its selection, an exclamation point will often weaken–perhaps even exponentially–the very gravitas the writer is trying to impart. And what about when this sort of punctuation shortcut is taken with dialogue; such as, when John turns to Mary and says, “I am shocked!” True, a lot could’ve happened that the reader is aware of which brought John to this horrific revelation. But it’s when an exclamation point is not supported by antecedent material that serious writing deficiencies present themselves, and many experts agree that this applies equally to both exposition and dialogue.
Now for the Really Grisly Stuff
Nothing is more disappointing than reading otherwise good material when it’s besmirched with punctuation overuse. And seldom is anything more disconcerting than
when a writer feels he or she can make every page stand out by overwhelming the reader with exclamation points. If anyone should be writing like this, please ask yourself: If on the first page of my manuscript I have affixed 4 exclamation points and continued my narrative in this vein, and my work is 300 pages in length, is it conceivable that I’ve honestly created 1200 mind-rocking events? And of perhaps even greater significance, after the first 3 pages (and now 12 scintillating scenarios have occurred), can I expect the reader to withstand 1188 additional mind-blowing experiences before finishing my story? and how much impact can I expect exclamation point 1199 to have over what I wrote that elicited, say, exclamation point 662?
There is an Answer, and It’s a Simple One
The example in the last paragraph was extreme, but I recently thumbed through a
book that was very close to the exclamation point count I just described. And the author wondered why he’d never been published. There were other issues with this book, but it’s unlikely any reputable agent or bona fide royalty publisher would’ve finished the first page once this rampant misuse of punctuation glared at either of them.
Think One or Two Exclamation Points for an Entire Novel
A suggestion I’ve often heard, and agreed with, is to parse the completed draft of the novel and count the number of exclamation points that were used overall. If more than one exclamation point per 25,000 words, then it’s one too many. This previous sentence is so subjective that it was hard for me to write. But from personal experience, I’ve commonly gone back and analyzed fleshing out a scene rather than leaving an exclamation point to emphasize the story component. And I’ve found that adding to the narrative, and enabling this rhetoric to show the action–thus negating the exclamation point–to be the proper course of action in nine out of ten instances. If you should discover your material invested with abundant “exclaiming,” you might want to consider applying the same remedy.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
As a writer advances through the process of crafting what he or she hopes will be a publishable novel, one of the most daunting challenges is to meet the requirements for effectively transitioning material. For many writers transitional elements can be difficult
to comprehend, let alone achieve.
Transitioning is Necessary from both a Micro and Macro Perspective
To understand transitioning, it is necessary to have a solid grasp of what this involves
at “the single word within the sentence level” first. One word, such a strategically placed “before” or “now,” can impact the meaning of a huge volume of text and provide the
perfect link to the next plot point.
Other times, a short clause such as “over the next few months” or “never again” can provide the ideal bridge. The right clause lets the reader seamlessly take in one story element and comfortably move onto the next without a break in the action. Conversely, inadequate transitioning often prevents a manuscript from being read, let alone considered for publication.
An Entire Paragraph is Commonly Used to Transition Material
A paragraph is the most logical choice in many if not most instances, since this provides the easiest medium for enabling a large amount of text to achieve the desired result. Of course it often requires several paragraphs to achieve the proper effect.
A Complete Scene that is Dedicated to the Transition is the Next Choice
We are now to the macro level, although some might say that this was achieved when
the paragraph was broached as an option–and certainly when multiple paragraphs were suggested. Whatever one’s feelings, an entire scene dedicated to a transition point is
second only to an entire chapter being utilized as a transition element.
We Must Not Forget about Dialogue as a Transitioning Medium
When writing about the art of effective transitioning, it’s easy to think that it primarily involves exposition and not dialogue, and while non-dialogue narrative is certainly the lead component, the use of dialogue to transition material cannot be underestimated. This is why it’s so critical to read dialogue aloud to help determine how well it enabled transition, not only for the narrative that preceded it–but for what is to follow. (There is also the subtle transitioning between dialogue exchanges that requires equally meticulous scrutiny, but
this is a subject for another paper.)
As an editor, I find as many problems with dialogue transitioning as I do with straight exposition being used as the facilitator to move from one plot point to another.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
As I stated in the prelude to an EzineArticle I recently posted, “Four Authors of Classical Contemporary Literature Defined the Craft of Writing Perfect Prose,” it would be absurd to proffer that anyone’s suggested reading material is superior to anyone else’s. I certainly make no such claim, now, only that I’ve found the novels that follow to be attractive for the reasons stated.
From a chronological perspective, the last time I employed this list with a workshop group, it was spread over 15 months. With an eye toward balancing the word count in
a reasonable manner, I segregated the material into three sections (hence, five months
to complete each section). Obviously, the important issue is to read and learn from the material, not the time frame associated with doing so, but people seemed to appreciate
it being set up this way, so I am doing the same for this article also.
If a serious writer will read (or reread) these novels, I don’t think it would be immodest to state that this person’s writing can only become more proficient. So, to good reading and better writing, here is the list, along with a brief explanation of the Purpose and Rationale behind suggesting this material.
PURPOSE
Reading from these selected works will provide the background necessary for understanding the nuances of form and structure.
READING RATIONALE
One of the most daunting problems with any structured reading program is currency. For this reason, every selection in the following group will be contemporary, in that none of the material was published prior to the 20th century. Although not limited to these, selections will encompass treatments related to Style Nuance, Story Threads, Pacing Elements, Theme Development Techniques, Dialogue Cant, Paragraph Style, Chapter Patterning, and Punctuation Subtleties.
“First 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 1 – Read one from group
1) A CURTAIN OF GREEN, by Eudora Welty. Seventeen short stories, some of
which will stand your hair on edge. Not horror, but what I refer to as pure noir writing,
even though it’s doesn’t fall into the traditional bleak and present danger definition. Ms. Welty won a Pulitzer Prize and about every other award one can win for literary achievement.
2) A SHIP OF FOOLS, by Katherine Anne Porter. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner.
A deep story that exposes human frailty, amongst a host of other things.
3) AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY, by Theodore Dreiser. Since I am from Indiana, I had to select one Hoosier writer. Just kidding. Mr. Dreiser’s story is a treatment of what happens when there is a hole in the social fabric.
Group 2 – Read one from group
1) GOD’S LITTLE ACRE, Erskine Caldwell. The book was one of the all-time best-sellers. In his lifetime, Mr. Caldwell’s books exceeded 80 million sales. This story will illustrate cant and how dialogue develops depth of characterization.
2) THEIR EYES WERE WATCHING GOD, by Zora Hurston. Oprah made her famous, but a member of the literati rediscovered her much earlier, sadly, well after Ms. Hurston’s death. Many feel that the novel begins with one of the most brilliant opening paragraphs ever written. She also wrote a metaphor for the ages, which I won’t describe in the hope you will read the book. Again, this is a treatment of how cant in dialogue creates characters that we remember.
Group 3 – Read one from group
1) GLITZ, by Elmore Leonard. Known as much for his skill at pacing as for his dialogue, this is my favorite of his works from the perspective of the story line; liking it
so much that I’ve read it three times.
2) THE DA VINCI CODE, by Dan Brown. One of the best-selling stories of all time.
And for those who have enjoyed finding fault with it, I have not heard anyone disparage
its pacing. As you might have guessed, this group of stories is about pacing.
3) ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, by Lucy Maud Montgomery. Perhaps thought to be
a weird placement with the other works in this group, yet with a child’s short attention span, nothing exemplifies the need for great pacing than when writing in the Children’s genre.
Group 4 – Read one from group
LONESOME DOVE, by Larry McMurtry. He won a Pulitzer for this work and it is an example of fluent prose writing at its best. Also not a half-bad story.
THE POISONWOOD BIBLE, by Barbara Kingsolver. One of my all-time favorites.
A “layered” story with a fabulous history lesson as a byproduct.
THE THORN BIRDS, by Colleen McCullough. Another book that is an example of fluent prose writing at its very finest.
Each of these novels demonstrates what the phrase “writing redemptive characters” means.
End of Part 1
“Second 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 5 Read one from group
ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. A story that traces many generations of a family, from its beginning until its ultimate demise. Mr. Marquez won a Nobel Prize, in large measure for this work.
THE FORSYTHE SAGA, by John Galsworthy. Another Nobel Prize winner. A multi-layered treatment of a complex family tree, along with the perfect illustration of creating conflict between the lead characters.
Group 6 Read one from group
USA, by John Dos Passos. A novel in trilogy form that at first blush is a history
lesson which details the Socialist movement in America after WWI and beyond the Great Depression. But it is much more of a literary treatment than a historical novel. The format for inserting material so the reader can sense the cultural perspectives of the era is unique to anything I have read.
RAGTIME, by E. L. Doctorow. Multiple inserts on the order of USA, but the threads are carried throughout the book, making it impossible not to become invested with the various characters.
Group 7 Read one from group
THE CONFESSION OF NAT TURNER, by William Styron. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner. We have discussed this novel in our workshops because the entire work is written in back-story (or flashback, if you prefer), demonstrating that it can be done.
A COLOR PURPLE, by Alice Walker. Still another Pulitzer Prize recipient. This work is presented in its entirety in epistolary form, via a series of letters, and is another exceptional example of stylistic variation.
DOLORES CLAIBORNE, by Stephen King. In this instance viewed for his skill-sets
and not for the horror genre for which he is best known, he is a true genius who can write anything, as William Goldman expressed so well. This book is 90,000 words of pure monologue without one adverb attribute. This is a quintessential example of characterization developed via dialogue, and worth studying as to how this is achieved.
Group 8 Read one from group
TO THE LIGHTHOUSE, by Virginia Woolf. Once it is recognized that this is stream-
of-consciousness writing, it is not as difficult to understand or accept as a style. The importance is that a work such as this enables a writer to become more creative.
THE SOUND AND THE FURY, by William Faulkner. Should you choose to read the novel, read it from the beginning with a Norton’s Criticism so you can better understand
how Faulkner uses Benji to expand the stream-of-consciousness concept. Develop an understanding of this, and it will reward you greatly as a writer.
End of Part 2
“Third 5 Month Reading Program”
Group 9 Read one from group
HOT SPRINGS, by Stephen Hunter. Great tale, in my opinion, by a very skilled writer. Big change of pace from the recent material. Again, pay particular attention to the pacing.
ONE MORE SUNDAY, or CONDOMINIUM, by John D. MacDonald. Famous for Travis McGee stories. If you should choose to read him, either book will depict a topical story that is easy to read, again demonstrating the value of writing prose in a fluent manner.
Group 10 Read both
THE BLACKBOARD JUNGLE, by Evan Hunter. Hugely popular story that is important because of the visceral nature of the writing and the surprise ending.
KISS, by Ed McBain. Ed McBain is the pen name under which Evan Hunter writes his 87th Precinct novels. The purpose of each of these suggestions is to detect the subtleties in the style of both novels written for different genres by the same author.
Group 11 Read one from group
THE JOY LUCK CLUB, by Amy Tan. The story and the writing demonstrate ways
to incorporate a foreign culture into the fabric of a work through the eyes of several characters.
THE RIVER SUTRA, by Gita Mehta. Another instance of bringing the reader into another culture.
THE GOOD EARTH, By Pearl Buck. She did not win a Nobel Prize for nothing. If
you have never read this story, it is not the Pollyanna some people think by the title. An incredible work of art expressing some harsh aspects of the Chinese culture and that there can be children in any family who do not respect what their parent’s have had to endure to provide a better life.
Group 12 Read all three
THE STRANGER, by Albert Camus.
THE VICTIM, by Saul Bellow
STEPPENWOLF, by Hermann Hesse.
What I find so exceptional about these novels is that this is the same story line treated
in a different way by three people who have each won a Noble Prize for Literature. See how this triumvirate of brilliant writers handled the identical theme.
Group 13 Read one from group
A THOUSAND ACRES, by Ann Smiley. Another Pulitzer Prize Winner. Conflict that expresses writing for dramatic effect at its best. The easiest of the three books in this group to read. And I wish I had Ms. Smiley for a neighbor.
BEACH MUSIC, by Pat Conroy. If you can stomach a dysfunctional family at its worst, this story brings out some of the best writing anyone could ask for. Just don’t expect a warm fuzzy feeling when you finish it. But the characterizations are spectacular, and you’ll learn something from reading this book.
BREATHING LESSONS, by Anne Tyler. Again, a Pulitzer winner, but this time a story without a redemptive character, proving once more that someone can write against the grain and be successful. The importance of this book is its brutal honesty.
End of the Suggested Reading Program to Improve Writing
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Query Letter Writing – a Daunting Dilemma
Some years ago, to add to a discussion I was encouraging related to the nuances of query letter writing, a woman who had just received a contract for her first novel–and
with Simon & Schuster no less–wrote me to lament how arduous she had found the task
of crafting her missive to appeal to agents. She admitted that she considered the query
more difficult than writing the actual work, and had spent over a year on her letter. For discretion’s sake, I won’t reveal the name of the author, but many people would recognize this now well-known Ph.D., and her breakthrough novel.
The Synopsis-Syndrome
I chuckled at her comment, not out of derision, but from empathy, since I have often
felt the same way about my own queries. While I haven’t spent a year on a letter to attract an agent, at times I wish I had. One of the problems is that I have often found my query turning into a synopsis. And in parsing the query letters of others, the synopsis syndrome, as I call it, seems to be the most chronic malady that inhibits the presentations (sic, queries).
For a Successful Fiction Query Letter, Size does not Matter
A writer desires to tell as much as possible about the story of which he or she is so passionate, and is often influenced by an industry success story in which someone has crammed as much as possible onto one page, even to the point of reducing font size to make the text fit. Unfortunately, in trying to mirror this, the end result for most is invariably a synopsis and not a presentation of the subtle plot and character elements that reflect the writer’s skill and which sets the work apart–and what will influence an agent to request the manuscript.
Think of a Query Letter as an Advertisement, and Sell the Sizzle and Not the Steak
An agent of mine once railed at me about a poor query I had sent him for a later novel because it told too much of the individual aspects of the story and not about the work as a whole. He said to write the query as if I was designing the liner notes for the novel. I found this to be some of the best advice I have ever received. As a comparison, if one wants to be successful in sales, one of the time-worn truisms is to “sell the sizzle and not the steak.” It might be suggested to apply the same axiom to writing a query letter. This can be like grasping Showing versus Telling the first time around (or the tenth), but it has to be understood if a query is going to work.
Write a Query from the Gut, not the Heart
It might help to think of your work in visceral terms; meaning, what are the hard-hitting aspects of your story from an overall perspective. This will take your thinking beyond the brick and mortar. And remember, most of all, you are wanting to provide the agent with just enough knowledge of your work (and ability) to create interest. If you can do this succinctly and with skill, would it not be logical that the agent might assume that your novel is written at the same level? Should you review queries that have garnered agent representation, please notice how little is told about the actual stories, but how much the successful letters reflect the authors’ competence for writing quality prose.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
From academicians to book critics to lay readers, each is often eager to recommend a list of authors who will provide aspiring writers with a sound foundation from which to build. Any suggestions should be revered, and it would be ridiculous for one person to state that her/his idea of quality prose is better than another’s.
However, there are four aspects of the craft of writing that many who understand literature would argue have never been better addressed: Steinbeck’s perfection with dialogue, Faulkner’s depth of characterization, Hemingway’s precise narrative, and Fitzgerald’s palpable creation of mood.
One of the quickest ways to appreciate John Steinbeck’s brilliance in the realm of dialogue is to read TORTILLA FLAT, THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT, and OF MICE AND MEN. Accents are often hard to maintain in a novel without eventually grating on the reader, yet Steinbeck’s last line of dialogue in TORTILLA FLAT is as fresh as his first. THE WINTER OF OUR DISCONTENT provides a perfect medium for demonstrating his range. And it is then a simple step to OF MICE AND MEN to gain an understanding of Steinbeck’s genius in the art of writing divergent dialogue at an extraordinary level.
The mere mention of William Faulkner can cause many to quail. But a lot of Faulkner aficionados, of which I am included in this group, feel he is unchallenged in the realm of characterization. As an aside, if his work is broken down to the length of his clauses, it
is often much easier to appreciate his talent. Many erudite souls recommend ABSALOM, ABSALOM as an ideal example of why Faulkner rules the world of characterization, and
one needs to read only the first paragraph in the initial chapter to realize the reason for
this praise. Another suggestion is that serious writers read THE SOUND AND THE FURY.
The characterization of Dilsey the maid is, in itself, a masterpiece.
Hemingway’s art is an example of elevating a single element of writing to such a
high level that the weaker aspects of (his) prose can be ignored. With simple words his narratives were so powerful and his depictions so poignant that he is credited with creating a unique style. An efficient way to experience his skill is to read THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA. What is often overlooked about Hemingway’s crisp, concise style is the quality of pitch his technique enables. His passages of perfect pitch, in themselves, can be important to analyze by anyone desiring to become a better writer.
Mood like voice is one of those magical areas that is easy to recognize but impossible
for a great many people to define. But whatever mood happens to be, it can be experienced in the works of F. Scott Fitzgerald. In THE GREAT GATSBY, THIS SIDE OF PARADISE, and TENDER IS THE NIGHT, there is an unmistakable mood that is so sentient the reader can easily (and pleasantly) become enveloped by it. A leading example is the opening paragraph in TENDER IS THE NIGHT, which sets the mood for the entirety of a story as well as any novel that comes to mind for many learned readers. Whatever Fitzgerald’s voice was, he found it. And whatever mood is, he created it with exceptional flair.
There are numerous other writing elements, and subcategories of each, that anyone serious about becoming a novelist must consider. But for those who desire an understanding of what many regard as the four pillars necessary for developing a proficiency in writing quality prose, especially if the interest is to be published by a major royalty publisher, it is difficult to argue against venturing into the oeuvres of Steinbeck, Faulkner, Hemingway, and Fitzgerald.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
A writer can start with THE CHICAGO MANUAL OF STYLE and move from it to any number of academic works on what a manuscript layout should look like. But adhering to the following eight suggestions will assure an acceptable format for almost all commercial fiction.
Hint Number One – Your Name, Page Number and Book Title in the Top Left Corner of Each Page
In the top, left corner of the page, many editors prefer your last name followed by a hyphen and the page number, and one single space below this, the title of your book. Then three single spaces below this (if you’re not beginning a new chapter, which I’ll cover later) begin your narrative.
Hint Number Two – Double-Line Space the Narrative
No one I know will accept a single-line spaced manuscript, and there is good reason. In the days of the covered wagon, when everything was edited with a pencil, the suggested corrections were made between the lines. Many of us still prefer to work this way, and the format is paramount when line-editing material. Plus, most people find double-line spaced copy on an 8 1/2″ x 11″ sheet of paper much easier to read and therefore more comfortable to work with.
Hint Number Three – Double Space After a Period
Double spacing after a period enables room to annotate punctuation changes and draw lines to move sentences around. I am aware that some people are saying this is “old school,” and therefore the double space after the period is no longer necessary, but every editor I know prefers or demands it, as do I.
Hint Number Four – Indent Paragraphs 1/2″
Most word processing programs seem to use a 1/2″ indention as standard, but I often receive manuscripts with erratic or inconsistent paragraph indentions. If you always indent 1/2″, then your text’s appearance will be consistent and this will also enable you to “fudge” when you want your text to look its best from an aesthetic standpoint.
Hint Number Five – Never Justify Text (Except for Chapter Delineations)
Under no circumstances should a manuscript be submitted with justified text. This makes line editing a nightmare (sic, impossible), since extra spaces between words are something a line-editor flags.
Hint Number Six – Locate the Chapter and its Number in the Center of the Page
As with unusual or inconsistent indentation, I receive a wide variety of chapter set ups. My suggestion is to type out the word Chapter with a capital C and follow this with the number 1, 2, 3, etc., one space after the word; i.e., Chapter 1. This isn’t as Mickey Mouse as it seems, because this differentiates a Chapter 1 from Part 1, for example. The Chapter designation is a location in which centered text is not only acceptable but desirable.
Space the chapter identification down however far you desire with an equal number of lines below it before your begin the narrative. Five single spaces from the book title in the top, left corner to the centered chapter identification, then five single spaces to the beginning of the narrative, is a good template.
Plus, this again provides room to “fudge,” if need be, during later revisions and not require a writer to have to repaginate an entire chapter–or even the entire book.
Hint Number Seven – Use 12 Point Times New Roman or Courier Font
Many in the publishing industry seem to recommend these fonts. Also, if a writer sticks with either Times New Roman or Courier, this could save having to manually go through an entire manuscript to clean it up should it have to be changed to either of these font styles. Because, even today, with all of the word processing genius that’s out there, different fonts don’t often wrap properly when the entire text is converted from one font style to another.
Hint Number Eight – Leave an Extra Double-Spaced Line at the End of Each Page
If you choose to ignore everything I’ve written, please don’t disregard this idea: Leave an extra line or even two at the end of each page, especially during the early drafts of your work. Meaning, instead of typing to the last line, which will generally be line 24 of double-spaced copy, type only to line 23. This has nothing to do with editing, but will enable you to revise and often not have to repaginate work, thus saving a huge amount of labor.
If you follow the suggestions outlined in this article, you will have a very happy agent, editor or publisher–and I hope all three.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
There are abundant bear traps along the way that even writers who are old hands at accepting the vagaries of the publishing industry are having difficulty navigating in the current literary marketplace. Here are several issues–some old, some new–to consider.
Pitching a Book to the Wrong Agent or Publisher is Problem #1
Genre specificity plagues a lot of authors. It’s important to recognize that a hard-boiled detective mystery with a lot of torrid love scenes is not classified as Romance. If a writer is having difficulty pinning down the genre for a specific work, a friendly library staff member might be a wonderful resource (please don’t expect this person to read the entire draft). Only after the genre is identified can a writer adequately source the industry for suitable agents or publishers.
Agent or Publisher Bias can Knock a Work out of the Saddle
I recently presented material to a well-known independent publisher, only to be told that their firm did not handle anything dealing with Russians or the Mafia, something that was not mentioned in their already abundant submission guidelines. As luck would have it, a significant character in my narrative was a member of the Russian Mafia.
Of course this could be modified, but the point is that any writer can be blindsided by a bias against anything from Lithuanian folk dancers to fly fishermen from Montana. Keep in mind this is a quirky business, and it’s not always the writer. And it seems that once something is found to be deficient, the agent or publisher tends to turn up the power of the already very intense microscope.
A Manuscript can Suffer from the New Rock Band Syndrome
A manuscript can be deemed to be too close to other material. Or too far removed so that it doesn’t fit with anything else. Related to the way bands sound, I’m told these are standard rebukes in the recording industry. In the publishing business, either comment also follows with a rejection. My personal experience is that it would be easier to climb Mt. Everest than to persuade an agent or publisher to accept material for which they have a predisposition toward one or the other reasons for rejection that I just stated.
What if you Write the Perfect Manuscript, but It’s Really Not so Perfect After All?
This is the bitterest pill to swallow. If a partial or full manuscript is rejected numerous times, it is obviously necessary to take stock of the situation. Many writers contact a professional for assistance well after sourcing scores of agents and numerous publishers. There are only so many agents and publishers for any genre. And, unfortunately, agents and publishers inherently do not want to see work after they have previously rejected the material.
It is critical to have a manuscript polished to its highest sheen possible before submitting it. Quite often there are issues that are not apparent to the early-stage author which can be easily remedied, but when unchecked can send an otherwise solid body of work to the slush pile.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Some people have said that the best way to display backstory, or flashback as it is commonly called, is not to write it at all. Instead, maneuver this sort of set-up material into the beginning of the story as a natural chronology of the narrative. But for the purpose of this article we are assuming that backstory is critical to a particular text, so here are several methods for presenting it from a visual perspective. Among the options are: within parentheses, via italics, or as an aside by way of a “remembrance.”
Parentheses Never Seem to Make the Right Impact
I have long espoused that the parentheses should never be used in fiction, and I still believe this. First and foremost, a parentheses, by its very nature, is an aside to indicate something of lesser significance, and therefore would seem to contraindicate the need for backstory. Simply, if this aspect of the narrative is so important, as stated earlier, write it into the normal sequence of events. Now this last remark is a stretch, but if backstory is deemed necessary, why relegate it to second-class status as a parenthetical expression? Plus, from a purely pedestrian view, when a long run of backstory ends with a parenthesis, isn’t it irritating to be “told” via the closed parenthetical mark that what was just read had not happened in real time?
Long Italics can be Annoying
I once wrote an entire story in italics, as have other novelists. A couple of other authors’ works have been successful, but they are few and far between. Most people find that more than a few pages of italics will grate on the brain. And I’ve even found that italics beyond a couple of paragraphs can be too much. I look at this like reading stream-of-consciousness writing. Unless parked under Faulkner, Joyce, or Woolfe, a little bit goes a long way.
Offering a “Remembrance” for the Reader seems to Work Best
Backstory for me seems to work best when the character begins with a short muse and then a full scene follows. This can be anything from a couple of sentences to a long chapter. Either way, something with this sort of set up: John looked across the barren field at the rusted chassis of the old Chevy truck, now seeming like it had died while planted up to its rims in the hard ground, and remembered the first time Mary came into his life on a comparable cold Kansas afternoon in late November, ten years earlier. “Hey,” a voice called from over his shoulder. He turned and saw a woman….
No One Size Fits All, but a Particular Style seems to Work Best
I’d create something such as what is in the preceding paragraph–in the three ways I’ve described–and see how each of these set up with what is written before and after it. Maybe the dreaded parentheses is the answer, or a half page of italics will do the trick. But if more than a few paragraphs of text is required, I’d seriously consider a “musing” and closing this with the end of the chapter, or at least an extra space to begin a new scene within the chapter.
Please note before reading this piece that it is lengthy, almost 1500 words. But since the agents, publishers, and the other professional editors I know feel that Point of View is not a subject to be taken lightly, I decided it should not receive short shrift.
Some Writers Fight to the Death of their Material Defending their POV Shifts
What prompted me to address POV at this time is that I recently read a scene that contained four POV shifts, and when I brought this to the author’s attention, I was told this was the intent. And it was explained to me in no uncertain terms that the writer did not see the problem–because in this person’s mind there wasn’t one.
The Significance of Understanding POV Cannot be Overstated
Let me state flat out that the importance of understanding and writing consistent
POV cannot being overstated, since this is one of the first elements agents, publishers,
and professional editors notice, since shifting POV is considered not only a deficiency but
a sign of amateur writing. I can’t always tell writers how to get published by a major royalty publisher, but I am certain of ways not to. And the unskilled shifting of POV is one of the fastest ways I know for material to end up in the slush pile.
Some Highly Skilled Writers Can Indeed Shift POV Effortlessly
There are of course exceptions. Some highly skilled writers can shift POV seamlessly. But their POV shifts are done sparingly and generally at high tension plot points in which the writer is not concerned with the movement because the scene is so powerful that the other character’s view is necessary. And not expressing that POV would hinder the scene.
I wrote an article last year on POV in which I illustrated an instance in which I felt the shift was not only acceptable but desirable. So the issue is not confused, I’m not going to include the article at this time, but will mention that E. M. Forster said that POV shifts are fine–as long as nobody notices them (his remark made me laugh too). The difficulty for most writers is that POV shifts are most often not only noticeable, but overwhelmingly detrimental to the narrative.
Even Some of Literature’s Most Famous Writers Have Made POV Mistakes
It does not require close reading to find problematic POV shifts, and even some of literature’s most famous writers err. For a developmental writing workshop series I facilitate, which is sponsored by the local library system where I reside, I reread Saul Bellow’s THE VICTIM, since I use it in one of my syllabuses and I wanted to refresh my memory on one aspect of the plot line. I noticed two instances in the story in which Mr. Bellow shifted the POV, and to the extent that I required me to reread both passages,
one several times.
A callow youth might read something by a famous author that contains jarring POV shifts and assume this sort of writing is acceptable. I’m sorry, it is not! Especially if a writer has hopes of being paid for being published in today’s highly selective literary marketplace.
A Clear Explanation of POV
If POV is foggy, perhaps this will make it clear: A character whose POV the scene is written around (maybe it would work best to consider this the “lead character” for this illustration) can demonstrate actions and express thoughts. Every other character in the scene can demonstrate actions but never thoughts, since the thoughts of another character in the same scene automatically reflect that person’s POV–and what is referred to as shifting POV once the scenes initial POV is established by a character. How POV is maintained for the reader–related to which character’s thoughts are driving the scene–is the key to POV consistency.
Along this line, it is important to keep another point in mind. Even though this lead character can show actions and thoughts for the reader, he or she must couch the viewing of others. This means that the lead character can state what he or she desires, whether this be personal information or material about other characters or situations, but he or she can only suppose what is going on in the mind of others. Hence, we read phrases in which the lead character says that it seemed, or it appeared, or it looked like something was occurring related to another character or circumstance. Again, for POV consistency, once this lead character is established, no other character can express an opinion via interior monologue.
Examples of POV – The Right and Wrong Way
Here, now, are examples of the same scene with John and Mary written three ways. The first in John’s point of view.
“Hi,” John said to Mary. He gazed into her eyes, more nervous than he had ever been in his life.
“I’m happy that you came by,” Mary said, her voice sounding positive to him.
John, uplifted by her tone, experienced a sudden burst of confidence that he hadn’t thought possible. But as he continued to stare at Mary, she blinked several times before turning away. He could only guess at what had caused her sudden change in comportment.
He took a deep breath and his voice was shaky. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Mary kept her head down. He heard what he thought was a muted sob, then she looked up at him and seemed to force a smile. “No. I thought I could but I can’t.”
Note that John can state his positions because he knows for certain what he is feeling, since this scene is written in his POV. His thoughts are “leading” the scene. But he cannot know for certain what Mary is feeling. He cannot know for example that she forced a smile, only that she seemed to have forced one. It is only after she says “no” that the reader can infer that John might have made a correct assumption. If the last spit of dialogue read, “Yes, I thought I couldn’t, but I can,” this could mean that her smile wasn’t forced, but was one of subtle satisfaction with her decision. What follows is the same scene in Mary’s POV:
“Hi,” John said to Mary, as he gazed into her eyes.
John’s anxiety was obvious to Mary, even by his one-word greeting, since his voice had cracked.
“I’m happy that you came by,” she said in a soft tone, hoping this would provide him with some degree of self-assurance.
John seemed uplifted, and appeared to experience a sudden burst of confidence that pleased Mary. But as he continued to stare at her, she blinked several times before turning away. She hoped that he wouldn’t misinterpret her actions, because it was she who now needed to gain composure.
He took a deep breath, but his voice was still shaky. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Mary kept her head down, hoping he wouldn’t know she was crying inside, but then she looked up and forced a smile. “No, I thought I could but I can’t.”
Here, now, is the same scene with the POV’s shifting back and forth–and the consequences:
“Hi,” John said to Mary, as he gazed into her eyes, wondering if she really wanted to see him.
“I’m happy that you came by,” Mary said, her voice soft, and thinking she should’ve been more aggressive, since he’d made everything so awkward.
John, however, was uplifted by her tone, and experienced a burst of confidence that she hadn’t thought possible. Then he thought he’d noticed a change in her comportment as she looked away. He needed time to think and she wished he were someplace else.
Mary kept her head down and made what sounded to John like a muted sob. Then she looked up and forced a smile. As they stared at one another, he dreaded the words: “I thought I could but I can’t.”
This example is overkill, but I’ve read material just as bad, and it demonstrates just how devastating inept POV shifts can be. Lack of speaker designation is the most common issue with POV shifts, as depicted in the last paragraph, since the reader is unable to determine who was speaking.
A Final Bit of Advice
As I mentioned earlier, there are exceptions to strictly maintaining POV via one character. But if a writer is trying to find a quality agent to become published for the first time by a bona fide royalty publisher, I strongly suggest avoiding POV shifts altogether.
What Does it Mean When Told to Start the Story Sooner?
Last fall I attended a writer’s symposium with a dais that included several well-known mystery writers who fielded questions prepared by a skilled moderator. Each writer was asked what he or she felt was the single most significant issue for which anyone seeking publication should be concerned.
One of the program’s participants, Jim Born, a successful local author I’ve gotten to know and whose writing I enjoy, said that beginning the story sooner was his best advice. It’s mine, too, and I decided to devote this article to explain why.
It Pertains to Writing Without the Proper Regard for Movement
When I analyze a client’s manuscript after reading it for the first time, I often have to make a determination as to when I think the story truly “begins.” And when I submit my critique on the work to its author, at times this is confusing, since my notes, which I always include, might indicate the opening chapters were quite good or that the characters had been well developed–but later reference an annotation I’d made that the story should’ve begun on page 31, or page 55, or page 100.
It’s not that the Early Narrative Isn’t Good; It’s that it Doesn’t “Set Off” the Story
My all-time favorite example of this is THE RETURN OF THE NATIVE, a book which
I rescued from the trash can three times before finally slogging through the opening to discover a very good story for the most part. The first 50 pages, or so it seemed, were devoted to the description of Egdon Heath and its physical and social nuances. And while unquestionably of monumental importance to Thomas Hardy, I found this abundant early-stage minutia to have nothing whatsoever to do with advancing the plot in what could remotely be considered a timely fashion.
Unfortunately, Some Writers Still Work as if in Hardy’s Era
We have to grant Hardy obvious leeway related to the time when his book was published, since this was in 1878. However, today’s writer has to be aware of the competition for the attention span of the contemporary reader. For this reason, as
much as any, it is imperative to make an honest evaluation as to when the first
compelling action in a story takes place. And it’s critical to keep in mind that this is
often not solely predicated by determining the first incidence of conflict.
But What About Writers like Jody Picoult or Tom Clancy who Write Intensively Descriptive Narratives?
It would be easy to look at either Ms. Picoult or Mr. Clancy and refer to genre to justify their writing styles, but this would be a gross miscarriage. Both employ their opening elements to set up their stories–and then they move on. And herein lies the major difference between their skill sets in this aspect of crafting exceptional prose and that of the average amateur writer trying to create quality material. Ms. Picoult and Mr. Clancy set up their work with introductory material to propel their plot lines forward–and never the other way around.
The Conflict has to be Advanced by the Ensuring Narrative, Not Supported
by It
It is imperative to look at work and ask these sort of questions: Was it essential to
write an entire chapter about walking through the graveyard? What about the laborious description of the house and the grounds before the fire? Was Jesse’s attitude on the way to the funeral with Jim significant enough to write four pages about it? Any of these seemingly stupendous story elements might not be that valuable it they are not a driving force behind the narrative that follows.
Sometimes it’s nothing more than moving scenes from one location to another. But in other instances it’s unfortunately necessary to hit the delete key–no matter how painful this may be–and begin the novel with material that enables the ensuing narrative to advance and not retard the plot.
A short time ago I received a request to review an author’s query letter. It was awful. The letter was written in a structure that would make a seventh-grade English teacher cringe. And as is commonly the case with writers who are unfamiliar with the nuances of
the publishing industry, the genre definition for the novel was incorrect.
A Monumental Mistake Compounded
While discussing how to improve the letter, one question led to another, when the
author informed me that over time he had used SIX editors on his novel (he was dead serious). This floored me. How does a writer find a half-dozen editors on this planet who don’t understand the genre of the work they are editing? This ineptness by both parties
(I’m lumping the editors together as one entity) brings up several issues that I feel a responsibility to address.
Anyone can Claim to be an Editor
First, sadly, anybody can claim to be an editor. There is no formal credentialing. I know of people who cannot write but claim in their advertising to have helped dozens of writers get their novels into print, only to learn that every one of these works was self-published.
I have had people attend my creative writing workshops who do not understand writing at anywhere near a professional level, but have “Editor” printed after their name on a business card. History is littered with editors making all sorts of outlandish assertions, such as guaranteeing a writer a contract with a major royalty publisher (which landed the principle of one editorial outfit in jail a few years ago).
The Problem with a Manuscript can Generally be Attributed to One of Two Factors
I’ve found that working with clients is about honest relationships as much as writing. Which brings me to the next point, and this is the time when hiring an editor should not be part of the equation. If a writer has found a competent editor, and nothing has happened in a positive way with respect to the manuscript after exhausting all of the available avenues, there is likely something wrong with the concept for the market in which the work is intended–or the writing is not up to the demands of the industry. This last statement does not imply that the editor was less than scrupulous in supporting the manuscript, only that there is only so much anyone can do with a project. And my experience is that hiring another editor will not help.
Respected Editors will not Compromise their Relationships with Top Agents
Another thought to bear in mind is that most industry-respected editors have long-standing relationships with A-grade agents. One reason for writers to employ highly regarded editors is the desire to have their manuscripts presented to those agents with whom these editors have a fellowship. This is particularly important today, because more and more of the top agents are not accepting unsolicited material, and the bulk of their referrals come from editors. But, emphatically, no editor I know of wants to deprecate his or her reputation by suggesting material that is not thought to be publishable.
The Best Advice Anyone can Receive
Now back to the fellow whose experience with six editors fostered this article. I have to assume he was either quite naive or very unlucky, as somewhere along the way one of the editors had to have told him the truth about his writing. Or he didn’t want to listen and kept burning through editors in hope of finding someone who would like his work. There is no value in dragging along a corpse. Related to his fiasco, from my personal experience as a writer and not as an editor, the advice someone gave me decades ago is in my opinion still the best suggestion anyone can receive about a manuscript that is not going anywhere–and this recommendation was to write something else.
Two Critical Issues to Understand and Accept
I want to offer a final remark on query letters and another on editors editing manuscripts: For an unpublished writer, the greatest query letter ever written is not going to enable a deficient manuscript to become accepted by a major royalty publisher. And neither can a host of the best editors in the industry, short of one of them ghosting the entire piece, save writing that is flawed.
I recently critiqued a spate of unpublished manuscripts that were well written for the most part except for what I refer to as “literary retro,” and I thought it might be a good
idea to address what my phrase encompasses.
It’s a Lot More than the Overuse of Commas
For many readers and writers, the most obvious instance of “dated” writing is material with excess comma usage that mirrors the respective styles of Henry James, Jane Austin, and other Victorian-era authors of classical literature. But the problematic issues with antiquated writing are much more extensive than abundant commas, and include placing
a character’s thoughts in quotations, combining different tenses, and awkward POV shifts. And many of the worst offenders are recipients of literature’s most prestigious awards.
A Prime Violator at Placing Thoughts in Quotations
Kafka wrote THE METAMORPHOSIS approximately 100 years ago. The work’s value as
a dream-narrative is indisputable, but the author’s quoting of thoughts can be misconstrued as an acceptable technique–when it is not. Bob thought, “What can I do now?” is going to rapidly send a manuscript to the slush pile; whereas, Bob wondered what he was going to do next, while not scintillating writing (and flagrant Telling and not Showing), would not in itself most likely discourage an agent or publisher from continuing to read the draft.
Even Recipients of Literature’s Most Prestigious Awards are Guilty of Verb Tense Errors
In Bernard Malamud’s THE FIXER, for which he received a Pulitzer Prize, in a couple of instances the author shifts from past to present tense in such an uneven way that it stops the reader. Knut Hamsun, a Norwegian writer–who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1920–wrote HUNGER, and any who read it can readily experience the problems with shifting tense. I can only assume that the Nobel committee thought this was stylish at the time, but anyone parsing the work today would not be advised to consider writing this way and expect any chance of being considered by a major royalty publisher.
Saul Bellow and POV
In two instances I am aware of in THE VICTIM, Saul Bellow inexplicably shifts POV so abruptly that I had to read both scenes several times to try to figure out who was speaking. Anyone familiar with Mr. Bellow knows he won a Pulitzer Prize for HUMBOLDT’S GIFT and was also the recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature. But while he got away with these POV indiscretions, none of us would likely be as fortunate with our own efforts, so it would be prudent not to be influenced by THE VICTIM, lest we become one.
Good Writers Don’t Copy Bad Examples
It is traumatic when someone who has studied classical literature begins serious writing, only to learn that much of what was thought to be acceptable is not. This is why many mentors will recommend to their students that, once they read the past masters, it is a good idea to spend a comparable amount of time with the current ones. Regardless of a person’s taste (or distaste for my selections), reading successful contemporary authors such as Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen King, John Grissom, Barbara Kingsolver, James Patterson, Colleen McCullough, Dan Browne, Sue Grafton, Nelson DeMille, and Pat Conroy, for example, will demonstrate the value of correctly placed quotation marks, maintaining tense, and paying strict attention to writing in a consistent POV.
A Thought on Structure as Well as Stricture
It behooves a writer to study what successful contemporary material looks like, not
just stylistically–but from the perspective of conventional formatting–however, there are
of course exceptions in this latter environment too. In Charles Frazier’s wildly successful COLD MOUNTAIN, he employed em dashes, a technique I hadn’t seen in so long (sic,
James Joyce) that I’d forgotten what they were called. I don’t suggest trying this or other non-traditional ways to set up text, any more than it’s beneficial to violate current strictures in an attempt to draw attention to one’s writing.
Transitioning Narrative and Developmental Arcing are Not Synonymous
Effective transitioning is the utilization of various techniques that enable a reader to move comfortably from one plot point to another. A developmental arc is generally much more detailed, and involves a character or plot element that needs to evolve for the story to maintain or gain strength. Developmental arcs often require extensive narrative, sometimes over many chapters, and at times can span the width and breadth of an entire work.
Using Arcs to Develop a Character for the Reader
If a writer is ever told that a character needs a developmental arc, this can be as simple as adding family history to the narrative, showing how the character lives in his or her physical environment, or providing the character’s thoughts on social issues that have relevance to the novel. Of course this can and often does require in-depth writing, but a lot of times strategically integrating snippets of these elements within the fabric of the story is all that is necessary to make a character engaging for the reader.
Using Arcs to Develop Characterization for the Reader
As with the requirements for a character to achieve “redemptive” status, characterizations can be treated in a like manner, although purists will argue that developmental arcs only apply to people. Historical references, physical descriptions of any pertinent aspect of the story line, opinions of a plot element via interior monologue, any or all of these techniques can be utilized to create solid development arcs. Simply, any link that can build the story for the reader is a candidate for use in this capacity.
What is Not Enough and What is too Much
If people are reading your early drafts and tell you they would like to know more about a character or story element, this is the best way of knowing that more work is necessary
to “flesh out” certain aspects of your material. Unfortunately, lay readers don’t often look
at these areas the way a professional does, or these people can often be too close to the writer and therefore not comfortable expressing their candid opinions.
Overzealous attention to detail can be just as much of an issue. But it seems it’s generally not as hard for a friend to tell a writer to back off rhetoric than it is to intimate that the author needs to add to it. However, this applies solely to potential arcing material, and is not meant to imply that a sheer volume words can provide a developmental arc for anything.
It’s All About Balance
Finding the equilibrium point for a story is an art form, and as much as anything why certain writers are better for certain readers. Which means that developmental arcing is
a matter of degree, and like most everything in fiction writing, highly subjective. But if a writer is receiving lay reviews on his or her own work that indicate the characters aren’t adequately developed or the characterizations aren’t portrayed with enough depth, it would probably be a good idea to get a professional critique from a reputable editor who has experience with the genre in which your novel is written.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
I don’t know when, on the writing curve, Stephen King or Nelson DeMille might seek editorial advice, only that it is documented that they do. So it begs the question, for the writer trying to break into the business with a major royalty publisher–and who accepts
that a professional editor looking at the manuscript might not be a bad idea–when is the right time to hire a book editor.
Generally there are Two Issues
For most people it’s a matter of time and money. Let’s look at the time element first.
A common practice is for a writer to send a manuscript to an editor for a critique after it
is felt that the material is in A-grade condition and ready for market–except for perhaps
the slightest touch up. But if it is determined that there are problems with plot or character elements which cannot be remedied by modifying, deleting, or inserting a few sentences here or there, then the entire piece will often require a wholesale revision.
How Much Time Does a Writer Have?
If an author should seek an editor to review a story concept and its set up from an early point in the creative process, steps can be taken to keep the plot elements in focus. And
the time saved can be substantial, since a rewrite can often require months. From a time standpoint, isn’t it better to catch any problems early–and rectify them–rather than spend considerable time on a draft that will have no prospects in its current condition? If a writer has the discipline to work with an editor during a manuscript’s developmental stage, this initiative can be a valuable time saving practice.
How Much Money Does a Writer Want to Spend?
No one likes to pay a second time for a process that failed initially. This is the most salient reason I can think of to justify bringing an editor into the fold at the start. The early-stage placement of a manuscript with a professional editor is almost always the
most economical way for a writer to work, and usually substantially so.
Does Anybody Really Work This Way?
Unfortunately, many unpublished writers will consider an editor only after a series of rejections from agents, or publishers who accept unagented submissions. This article is not going to change the modus operandi of a lot of writers who are already ensconced within the publishing labyrinth. But I hope these contentions might motivate some others who read this piece to consider contacting a professional editor toward the beginning stages of the first draft and not when it is completed.
Editors are Becoming More Flexible
As with most everything facing a writer who is hoping to become published for the first time, there is no one size that fits all. And while I hate to close an article with a disclaimer,
it is important to report that many well-respected editors only want to see completed manuscripts. Yet it seems like more and more highly regarded professionals in the literary industry are acceding to this article’s primary premise, which is to encourage authors to present early-stage material for review.
Fact: Query Letter Writing is an Art Form.
Make no mistake about it, writing queries that produce results is a craft.
Fact: A query should not be written like a synopsis.
I devoted an entire article to this, yet writers who have read the piece continue to
send me sample queries that ignore this premise. Yes, there are exceptions. There are exceptions to everything in publishing. But if an author wants to entice an agent to stand
up and take notice, as I said in the prior article, sell the sizzle and not the steak. Pure and simple, for fiction a query is best written if it mirrors liner notes.
Fact: A writer has to know the genre in which the work is written.
If the author doesn’t know the genre in which his or her work is written, any bona fide editor can explain it. A writer who doesn’t take the time to figure this out has virtually no chance. Genre identification is paramount. And while critique groups, etc., are a wonderful sounding board, they are historically populated by amateurs, and as such not the place to learn about genre specificity in today’s complicated and ever-changing
market.
Fact: Structurally, a query can be designed like a short theme.
Yes, a simple but effective way to structure a query is like a theme. Begin with a core thought that highlights two or three critical plot elements. Justify these issues in the next paragraph, then close the letter with the thrust of the thesis: Why Readers Will Gravitate
to the Story. Personal credentials if they pertain directly to the work can be added in a final brief sentence or two, along with a statement of appreciation for the agent’s or publisher’s time.
Fiction: Copying the words or phrases from a successful query will assure another query’s success.
Nothing could be further from the truth. A query should define the voice and strength of the writer and the project. An experienced agent or publisher can pick up the nuances of a writer’s style. Counterfeiting doesn’t work.
Fiction: Query letters should never contain questions.
This farce has been bandied about for some time and is ridiculous. No one likes a query that reads like a movie opening: In a world…followed by a “what if” scenario. But there is nothing at all problematic about asking an agent or publisher to consider a novel’s most poignant issue or issues. And if some agent has written to the contrary, so be it. Hundreds of other agents, and all of those I know and work with, think differently.
Fiction: A query should fill as much of the page as possible.
It’s quality not quantity that matters. A query with 500 words jammed on a page is not going to be perceived to be any better than 300 words that clearly and concisely reflect the writer’s skill and the “hot points” about the story he or she has written. An overwritten query can plant the thought that the novel is also structured in the same manner.
What can distort this last remark are the bloated query examples posted by some writers whose work has been accepted for publication. But when a query turns into a synopsis, which is almost always the tendency in longer efforts, it’s generally a quick
reach by the agent or publisher for the SASE or the rejection template on the computer
file.
Fiction: If my query doesn’t work the first time, I can write another one later to the same agent for the same book.
Agents keep records. At least many of the good ones I know do. And, universally, as I’ve experienced it, agents never want to see a query about the same material a second time any more than they will consider a manuscript they previously rejected. So it is imperative to get it right the first time.
A final thought: A poor query will never get a book in front of an agent; however,
a great query can influence an agent to look at a novel that might just require a touch
up. And critical feedback can often be gleaned from an agent. For anyone not using a professional editor (curses), I cannot think of a better way to receive professional advice without having to pay for it. However, most authors would be way ahead of the game if they sought professional direction to assure a quality query before bombarding a highly selective marketplace with less than sterling requests to review material.
It’s All about Sound
Alliteration is often considered clever when used as hype by a newscaster such as Geraldo Rivera, but horribly annoying to a lot of people when the novelty wears off or the technique is overused. Sibilant sounds are funny when spoken via a cartoon character such as Donald Duck, while not so humorous when part of someone’s long-winded pontification
at a school board meeting. And while writing numerous consecutive words beginning with or containing letters such as a “c” or a “p” can be catchy in a commercial jingle, they might not be as well received when abundantly decorating a run of narrative.
Sound Means Everything to Text, as it Facilitates Both Rhythm and Pitch
Strong words, but true, since we hear what we read. Reason number 10,000 why it’s critical to read out loud whatever we write before we consider posting it, mailing it, offering it, or publishing it. But reading out loud also means a lot of sometimes painstakingly slow work for the writer, and why this cardinal rule is often so easy to side-step. Yet listening for certain untoward sounds, and modifying the rhetoric that enables them, has as much to do with readability as any other factor.
Start with the Obvious and Work toward Ferreting out the Subtler Grating Performers
“S’s” are the easiest culprits to recognize, since the hissing sound they engender is what sibilance refers to. And alliteration and sibilance combined are impossible for most readers to deal with. Phrases like, “She shifted seductively as she swayed towards his seat” are enough to turn off any reader. But what about subtle inflections such as “prepossessing smile,” “successful city servant” (soft “c’s” count too, ha ha), and “seven consecutive series.” There are indeed times when “smile” has to be modified to “allure,” “servant” to “employee,” and “consecutive” dropped and the phrase changed to “seven times in a row.”
Too Many “C’s and “P’s can Spoil the Soup
Soft “c’s” were mentioned in the earlier paragraph, but a preponderance of hard
“c’s” can be annoying in their own right. “Accommodating change encourages actionable outcomes,” is beyond a mouthful. And so is, “They appealed to the people in the principal opposition party.” Consider how both phrases are sitting on your mind right now, and then read either phrase out loud and see if you don’t come away with a sore jaw.
The Key is Balance
No writer sets out to aggravate the reader when the intent is to craft fluent prose. But the tendency for many writers is to be complacent and not look for the little tics that can sometimes evolve into major trouble spots. Reading material out loud, and listening closely to how it sounds, is the best advice anyone can give or receive. If it sounds bad, it reads bad. It’s that simple. Again, it’s all about sound.
The craft of creating professional correspondence has as much to do with understanding the tone in which the letter is to be presented as in any other factor. A letter’s purpose can be diminished, misconstrued, or lost in total if the correspondence is not written with the desired inflection. If you are writing or editing for someone, to avoid these pitfalls, it is imperative to communicate with your employer or client so that the letter’s premise can be converted to the perfect write for that person’s needs.
In conversation, a tone of voice may indicate one thing when the intention is quite different. Should the speaker recognize the error, this misspeak can be remedied by an apology, by glossing over the infraction, or simply by an abundance of rhetoric intended to cause the listener to forget what had been said, earlier. But when the words are committed to paper, the luxury of remedy is not always possible.
We were trained via our business communications textbooks (a hundred years ago in my case) to practice certain techniques related to tone that unfortunately were seldom applied in the real world of professional correspondence, then or now. The correct tone from the outset makes the task of the letter that much easier, unfortunately, this vital precept is often violated.
Someone might still ask if consistency of tone is really that important. Here is my response: After writing a complicated personal or business letter, how often does one ask
if what was written really conveyed what the person wanted to say? And after several rewrites, it is still not uncommon to pose the same question? In an overwhelming number
of instances, the problem is not the content, but an issue–somewhere–with the tone of the narrative. Check it out and see how often this is true.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
There is an obvious question one might ask: Is there a problem with prologues to begin with? And while I personally don’t think there should be, there apparently is, especially for the writer who is trying to find an agent or publisher for the first time.
Prologues Conjure Up All Sorts of Imaginary Demons
The unpublished writer has a lot of hoops to jump through that an author with a readership doesn’t have to be concerned with, and this is why we see prologues preceding the work of some of our best known scribes, and proudly so. Then what’s the big deal about a manuscript from a new writer in which a prologue is part of the narrative?
As best I can figure out the thinking of certain agents, submission editors, and publishers, it’s that the prologue may give away too much of the story. It is therefore deemed better to place the information within the narrative as backstory, rather than
to present it as stand-alone material that adumbrates in any way what is to come.
But there may be a Real Demon to Contend with
Whatever anyone might feel about prologues, a legitimate argument can be made that they generally support Showing rather than Telling the action. And that it would be better
to place the thrust behind the prologue material at a later point in the narrative, since in its new location it could very well beget a Showing sequence.
I only offer this last sentence because as an editor I do see more Telling instead of Showing within prologues. But this isn’t always true, and certainly not an issue if an event–long past–needs to be provided so a reader can retain something in the back of
his or her mind to help solidify or flesh out a plot line.
However, it Seems as though there is Little Choice but to Eschew Prologues – for Now at Least
If many of the people who determine if manuscripts become placed have developed
a negative attitude toward prologues, budding novelists perhaps should decide if this bias
is worth fighting. I can’t tell anyone what to do, but I am looking doubly hard at anything
I receive from a client in which a prologue is included, while gritting my teeth because of this seemingly burgeoning industry intolerance for this long-established set-up medium.
I wrote an article some time ago about the significance of concentrating on writing narrative that advances the plot. A number of people E-mailed me to ask if I could provide examples of specific situations that stall the action.
Avoid these Amateur Writing Mistakes
One classic faux pas is the unnecessary set up to a phone call. If Tom wants to talk to Bill, begin the call with Tom or Bill talking on the phone, not the picking up of the phone, the waiting for the ring, or anything else that has nothing to do with the content of the call, such as this: Tom walked to the phone. He picked it up in his left hand and punched in the numbers with his right index finger. On the second ring Bill answered. “Bill here.” “Hi Bill, this is Tom.” “Well, hello, Tom. How are you?” “I’m fine, I hope you are too.” “Yes, I’m pretty good.”
Another scene never to write is the greeting with a receptionist: Tom walked into the waiting area to Bill’s office and approached a woman sitting behind a desk in the middle of the room. “Miss, my name is Tom Miller, and I’m here to see Bill Jones. He’s expecting me.” “One moment, I’ll see if he’s in.” “Mr. Jones, Tom Miller is here to see you.” “I’m expecting him. Please send him in.” “Mr. Miller, Mr. Jones can see you now.”
Nothing can Shut Down a Novel Quicker than Describing Mundane Activity
Each of the prior examples illustrate serious writing deficiencies, and unless there is high anxiety attached to either scenario, such as Bill coming back from the dead or being overly cautious in an attempt to conceal his affair with the receptionist, neither incident should
be played out for the reader. To state that Bill called Tom is all that is necessary before proceeding to the dialogue. Likewise, the phrase Bill met with Tom is all that is required to move the story to the start of a run of dialogue.
Search for Writing that Retards Pacing and Eliminate It
When reviewing a manuscript, it is always helpful to approach each scene with the attitude of deleting anything that is not absolutely critical to the story. And while this might seem harsh, since there is always material that is supportive of the whole, there is generally a great deal that can be cut. Especially if a passage should mirror either example in this article. The ability to recognize and delete superfluous rhetoric is essential for anyone wishing to be considered by a major royalty publisher.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
If querying literary agents isn’t difficult enough, how is a writer who is attempting to break into the business supposed to decipher the sales figures that are posted by major agents in areas such as the Dead Reckoning section of Agent Search (which is superb by the way) when individual statistics during a 12 month period might indicate the placement
of over 100 titles by a single agent?
Sales Numbers can Reflect the Entire Agency and Not the Individual
Keep in mind that an agent such as Richard Curtis, who Agent Search credits with
159 titles sold during a 12 month period, is likely stating the figures for his entire agency. Prolific producers such as Richard Curtis, Sterling Lord, Al Zuckerman, and Jane Dystel
are historically providing numbers generated by their respective agency imprimaturs and not their individual sales, although they may play a role in each transaction.
Query the Right Agent
If you check their individual web sites, you will notice that some of these high production agencies are mammoth, employing a couple dozen agents and numerous subordinate staff members, such as readers. This is why it’s imperative to find out which representative at
an agency is the right choice for a particular work. And why it does not behoove a writer to send material to the lead agent when another person is better suited.
Be Careful of the Agent on the Marquee
The reason for this admonition is because most agencies don’t pass material from
agent to agent to see who might like it from a genre perspective. So in instances in which
a cozy mystery might be ideal for Jane Jones, it might not be suitable for hard-boiled police mystery guru John Jones. And if John Jones is the agency founder–and the person queried–his personal attache may only look for material that will fit his eye if the query is addressed to him. And no one I am aware of enables a writer to submit to multiple agents within the same agency, as this seems to be universally disparaged.
There is an Exception to be Aware of
There is, however, one disclaimer that must be made, since there are indeed some agencies for which all queries are reviewed by a submission coordinator, regardless of to whom the letter is addressed. This submission coordinator often screens queries and passes those that are deemed worthy to the agent who is thought to best fit for the project. But I don’t think anyone would consider it bad advice to suggest that a writer find the right person to query, from the outset.
Proactive Things a Writer Can Do that Will Work
Nothing about locating the right agents to query is easy, but with the last sentence in
the preceding paragraph in mind, a serious writer can save a lot of time and aggravation
by making the effort to do these four things:
- Closely follow Publishers Marketplace to learn which agents are selling what and to whom.
- Become knowledgeable of the content of the recent book(s) an agent of interest has placed so something can be referenced in the query, especially if there is a plot or thematic similarity.
- Utilize the Agent Query web site to verify the agent’s title, address, etc.
- While on the Agent Query site, access the agent’s web official page (the URL is almost always shown). This is important because the submission criteria listed on the agent’s actual site is often more detailed and current than what is provided in the short bio provided on Agent Query.
A writer making the effort to complete these four tasks will be ahead of 95% of the querying competition–which is an immense advantage when considering the overall numbers.
Why Does Word Count Matter?
It’s a common question, and not one that can be easily answered, if at all, but I’ll attempt to offer at least some degree of clarification. However, it must be kept in mind
that much of what is written in this article will be nugatory if in ten years almost every
book is published in an E-book format.
The First Issue to Consider is if a Writer is Presently Unpublished
Previously unpublished authors seem to be scrutinized much more closely than well- known writers with an established readership. A 150,000 word book by an unknown has
one obvious thing going against it from the outset, and this is the cost to publish the book
if it’s twice the size of an average work in the same genre. This would likely entail a higher price point, and the immediate concern that the buying public will be reluctant to pay more for a book by someone who is heretofore unknown. (With an E-book, this of course is a non-issue.)
So what about the Previously Published Writer?
This seems to be what causes the most confusion. Some people might love to read Joe Jones so much that every word is a trip to Nirvana and therefore the more text the merrier. Also, publishers might be reluctant to come down too hard on their revenue producing writers and consequently they leave their overwriting alone. Or, simply, publishers aren’t editing their successful writers’ works, and what is submitted is essentially what is going to be put into print.
There are some Quantifiable Answers
And these relate to genre. In Literature, for example, how can any book be too expansive? Yet, in the Police Thriller world, there is a model in the 100,000 word range,
give or take 10,000 words either way, that seems to work best. Perhaps the rationale is
a ten-hour or so read for the average individual taking part in a round trip, coast-to-coast flight. This might be a silly analogy to some, but look at 80% of the novels in an airport bookstore and get back to me if you think I’m altogether wrong.
Asking about Word Count is Normal
I also find myself looking at word count whenever someone presents me with a novel
to edit. And there is good reason. If a writer has a 250,000 word Science Fiction first draft,
I know right away this is not the project for me. On the other hand, if someone has a work of Commercial Fiction that is 125,000 words, and even though I can almost always assume the novel is going to be 25,000-35,000 words too long, it’s something I can generally handle.
Don’t be Bunged Out by Word Count
Some of the word count hoopla is just that, in my opinion. I remember an absurd situation a dozen years ago that was the result of sending a manuscript of mine, at
the request of my editor at the time, to a very well-known agent. My story comprised 78,000 words and contained a romantic element that was significant to one of the story’s developmental arcs. The august agent informed me that a novel needed to be in the 120,000 word range to enable a “juicy enough romance to develop.” Go figure.
The bottom line is that nothing is more subjective than word count, but if you’re trying
to become published for the first time, I think you’ll find it to be a good idea to try to fit
your story within the current parameters for the genre in which you write.
Many of us who professionally edit manuscripts spend a great deal of our time providing our clients with query letter assistance. And happily so. Because if we’re not coaching those who use our services on how to write effective query letters, a lot of very good authors are often unaware of some of the more critical nuances.
It’s a lot More than Eschewing Adverbs and Running Adjectives
Forever, it seems, we have been warned against using adverbs in queries, the mind-set being that an agent will think that adverbs are indicative of the writer’s overall style. Hence, the novel will be teeming with “stopped suddenly” and “smiled broadly” sorts of tautological expressions. Or that there will be a plethora of “irregular, big, burgeoning, brown spots” or “loud, cantankerous, feeble, wrinkled, old people” lurking somewhere. These are givens in the realm of query letter writing, but what is to follow is not.
Avoid the Temptation of Comparing Your Writing to that of Another Author
First and foremost is the necessity of crafting a query that highlights the relevant hooks in the story and not to permit the letter to come across as an overzealous personal pitch vehicle for the author.
For example, if a query says that the work is written like a Pat Conroy novel, an agent can and often will infer that the author is stating that he or she writes as well as Mr. Conroy, a lofty goal indeed. If comparisons to other works are desired, it is much better to simply imply that the novel is written in the style of a particular noted author–and not that your ability mirrors that person’s skill sets, regardless of how you or others in your circle of friends and acquaintances might rate your talent.
Humility is a big plus; conversely, braggadocio is a sure way of turning off a literary agent, since how you comport yourself by the content and tone of the query can have
a great deal to do with how an author’s representative will perceive working with you.
Be Certain to Write the Query in a Way that is Indicative of How You Wrote
the Novel
The well-respected literary agent and oft-published author, Noah Lukeman, wrote
about how too much information via a writer’s bio can be more damaging that helpful.
And so much so that the bio can serve as the means for rejection–and not the text of
the manuscript itself.
When I first read Mr. Lukeman’s position on this I was appalled and offended, but as I thought about it more, I decided not to blame the messenger. If a writer is an academician in a scientific field, and that person’s query letter style, for a mystery novel for example, doesn’t indicate anything to the contrary, why should the agent think that the book is
not written like a professorial thesis. In the same vein, if someone has been designing advertising copy for 20 years–and that individual’s query for a police thriller is rife with overblown rhetoric–why would the agent think any differently about the condition of the narrative he or she is being asked to read?
If Applicable, there are Facts about an Unpublished Writer’s Background that can be Advantageous
In line with what I’ve just illustrated, I suggest that unpublished writers write sparingly about their credentials, except should their CV include writing honors they’ve received,
and only if this pertains to the genre in which the book they are presenting happens to be written. Workshop or symposium awards, and book competitions in which germane work was singled out for excellence, etc., are what the author would want to present at the close of the query. Forget everything else. Just thank the agent for his or her time and rest your case.
Give Yourself a Chance
If you’re careful about hype, watch the obvious benchmark rejection issues such as unnecessary adverbs and running adjectives, and keep you CV pertinent to the novel you are presenting, you’ll enable the description of your story’s features to dictate if the agent
is going to request your manuscript. And you won’t be rejected for reasons that may have nothing to do with the quality of your work.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Words that Define In Absolute Terms and Those that Don’t
Amateur writing is full of misused modifiers and other syntax culprits that foul a narrative, but nothing may be more glaring than the improper use of some of the
rudiments of rhetoric such as “a” and “the” or “will not” and “would not.”
Tex Must have Entered a Bar on the Verge of Foreclosure
The words “a” and “the” are often interchanged without the writer understanding the implication. The cowboy sauntered up to the bar and pulled out the stool, says to the reader that there was just one lone bar stool in the place, since the article “the” implies there is only one of something. Hence, Tex should’ve sauntered up to the bar and pulled out “a” stool.
Chronology also Impacts Correctness
If it’s established for the reader that Tex had pulled out the stool at an earlier point in the scene, then it would be perfectly acceptable for our cowboy to pull out “the” bar stool he’d sat on earlier, since in the world of rhetoric he had taken possession of the object via his prior action. Likewise, if an author had written there was only one open bar stool, or there indeed was only one stool in the bar, then it would be correct to write that Tex sauntered up to the bar and pulled out “the” bar stool, since there would be no other stool
in the saloon for him to grab.
Won’t and Wouldn’t are not Synonymous
I read a message on a blog by a fellow who didn’t understand the difference between “won’t” and “would not,” but who was published by a small indie. I’m glad he got it right if
he used the words in his story, or certainly his publisher would’ve called him on it. “Won’t,” as the contracted form of “will not” is definitive; conversely, “would not” is imprecise. I “wouldn’t” do something means that you don’t want to do whatever it might be, but it’s not
a certainty. It’s the little bit of wiggle room that “would not” provides that distinguishes its meaning from “won’t.”
Don’t Forget “That” and “Which”
It’s easy to lose sight of “that” and “which” as defining modifiers, but they are. It took me the longest time to understand an example I read years ago that differentiated “that” and “which.” It went something like this: The lawnmower that is in the garage is red. The lawnmower, which is in the garage, is red.
The “that” example implies there is more than one lawnmower, but that the specific lawnmower in the garage is red. The “which” phrase means there is only one lawnmower, and it’s in the garage and happens to be red.
If any of you are like me, this at first will make no sense. If anything, it might even seem the opposite should apply. But if you think about it long and hard, at some point
the meanings of “that” and “what” in these examples will become clear. And once this is understood, a writer is one step closer to crafting prose with modifiers that accurately define.
Parse a Manuscript for Places where Words are Placed in the Incorrect Context
It’s easy to make mistakes with either of the sets of words I mentioned in this article. With most narratives, “a” and “the” are much more problematic than “will not” and “would not,” but it’s incumbent on the author to make certain these words convey their intended meaning.
Did Tex really pull out the only bar stool in the Long Branch Saloon? And what did he actually mean when he said he wouldn’t go upstairs to see Madam Carlotta? I don’t believe there was only one bar stool in the Long Branch any more than Tex would never make a visit to Madam Carlotta’s boudoir again.
A Parentheses is One Form of Punctuation that has No Place in Fiction
I recently wrote an article declaiming the use of the exclamation point in fiction, but mollified my fervor with the reluctant admission that there were indeed exceptions. And,
in some instances, even an occasional benefit if the mark is used judiciously. But the employment of the parenthetical expression in fiction is not afforded the same luxury.
And for three very good reasons:
The Action of a Parentheses is often the Opposite of its Intended Function
The most problematic issue concerns the use of a parenthetical expression for emphasis, when the punctuation is designed as a means to express a derivative meaning or “aside.”
In the instance of a writer wanting to accentuate the narrative, a dash or dashes should be utilized. Someone once suggested a simple check and balance for what to select in which circumstance: Consider a parentheses like two walls muting the text in between, while a dash, as in adding a dash of spice to a meal, heightens the flavor of the textual bill of fare. Perhaps a hokey explanation, but one I never forgot.
There is another Issue with Parentheses in Fiction that goes much Deeper
Once more, the evil Showing versus Telling monster exposes its fangs, and long
ones this time. This is because a parenthetical expression inherently tells of an action
that could’ve and often should’ve been shown. Simply, if the writer deemed the “aside” important enough to set off with specialty punctuation, wouldn’t what fostered the exposition be worth detailing substantively for the reader? Ask again the critical question, was this rhetoric within the parentheses provided for modest purpose, such as clarity, or was it positioned within the punctuation to enhance the narrative? If the rationale is the latter, there is a distinct possibly that a valuable Showing opportunity in the crafting of a plot
point was missed.
Then there is Patronizing the Reader
A large number of readers find nothing more grating than having situations or things explained to them via parenthetical supplements. If the reader can’t figure out the narrative because it is so weak that it requires reinforcement, this is often an indication the novel needs a serious rewrite, with a focus on Showing the scene or scenes which are being cloaked, and not Telling them. Many experts feel that parentheses have no place in the narrative of a work of fiction, and it might be wise for writers who wish to be published to heed this opinion.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Showing vs. Telling
What separates many writers is the ability to recognize when to utilize which technique. A suggestion is to always write the scene in a Show format, knowing that you can always change to the Tell medium if you wish to provide readers with a chance to catch their breath.
The last statement should also explain the main flaw with Telling, as it can very often retard the pace of the scene.
Telling the Action
Jack was having a tough time with life. Everything he was doing lately had seemed to turn out wrong. Even the simplest aspects of his daily activities had begun to take their toll. Look at what happened when he got out of bed in the morning. He had stumbled around, as if in a blue funk. He’d been hurt when he’d fallen against his dresser and pulled it over while he was trying to right himself. He didn’t care who might have heard him throwing the unit against the wall or the damage it might have caused. And after he made his way into the bathroom and began to prepare himself for another day, he wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
Showing the Action
Like life itself, Jack could not find his balance. He fell against the chest of drawers and caught himself before stumbling backward and pulling the unit with him. A drawer flew
open and hit him in the side, and he and it collapsed onto the bed like two clumsy lovers.
He threw off the drawer and let it bang hard against the wall, cracking the plaster, unconcerned that the noise and vibration might have startled the newborn child in the apartment below. He weaved his way to the bathroom, and as he stared in the mirror and ran the water, not caring if it was hot or cold, he took out his razor. He didn’t lather his face, but kept glaring at what he saw–and wondered.
Not that these are spectacular examples, but they do identify the difference between Telling and Showing. Which would you rather read?
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
The Perfect Write (TM) provides an affordable, easy-to-use, and 100% confidential solution for converting a letter’s premise into the most effective correspondence possible.
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simples Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write (TM) can craft correspondence to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robert_L._Bacon
What is a Redemptive Character?
In writing workshops, I’m often asked what is meant by writing redemptive characters, and even by experienced writers, so it’s not surprising when there’s confusion about the meaning. Simply, it implies writing a character(s) in a way that readers can find something about the person(s) to identify with or care about, and in best case scenarios–root for. But this paints the explanation in rather simple strokes. I find there’s much more to it, so let me spend the rest of this article providing some concrete ideas on how to apply this definition in a broader sense; but a little history first related to the traditional concept of the redemptive character.
Very Few Successful Novels are Solely Plot Driven
I once asked an erudite workshop group to make a list of well-known novels with absolutely not one character who could be liked. After several months we’d parsed hundreds of books. There were a few honorable mentions (or dishonorable, if you so choose) such as ON THE ROAD and TROPIC OF CANCER. And I think THE SUN ALSO
RISES and BREATHING LESSONS made the “almost list.” But when we’d finally completed our task, and a dozen people had contributed to this study of what amounted to more than
a thousand works, only STUDS LONIGAN and WUTHERING HEIGHTS made it to the top of the heap. So writing a book that will sustain a reader without a likeable character is not an easy chore.
Manuscripts are Rejected because Agents and Publishers Aren’t Invested in the Characters
Not becoming invested in the characters is often because these figures weren’t found
to be redemptive. Another knockout factor is to hear that the characters just weren’t interesting. So this begs the question, “What is a way to make a character interesting?”
One answer lies in writing a character who is genuinely likeable and therefore patently redemptive. Another technique is to make a character compelling, but with the reader’s approval of the person’s actions not entering into the equation.
A Character Doesn’t have to be Paddy in THE THORN BIRDS to be Redemptive. Understand What Like Means, and You can Provide the Reader with a Reason to Like to Hate Your Character
This is one time when there is a magic bullet, and it’s a Howitzer. But the answer is not always obvious. In THE GODFATHER, most of us pulled for Michael, along with the Don (and in separate eras). The majority of people cared about Clarice Starling in THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but Hannibal held many people’s interest even more so as an antihero.
Perhaps with the Don and Hannibal, readers (and moviegoers) respected their power, however disparate its source. Yet while many people had their vicarious sweet tooth satisfied by the earlier Don, they later sympathized with the older character, which is a tribute to Mr. Puzo’s immense skill in character transitioning. With respect to Hannibal,
he was viewed as an enigma. But since a lot of people were enticed (by Thomas Harris’ brilliance) to want to know why the good doctor had become a monster, this was the epicenter of the latest installment. For whatever the reason, many people unquestionably remained curious about the Hannibal Lector character.
Redemptive Character Writing Covers a lot of Ground, so There’s Plenty of Room to get Comfortable
Don Corleone and Hannibal Lector might not seem like sterling examples of my
original definition of redemptive characters, but each in his own way is just that. Look at
the recent vampire groundswell. The creatures are written in a manner that render people compassionate for their plight. A key to becoming published is to write characters who, regardless of their proclivity, are redemptive in the eyes of the reader.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
A Great Title May Not Get Your Book Published, but It Can Get Your Story Noticed
When I was recently asked to write an article on how to come up with a great title for a book, it would have been easy to suggest that someone should craft a great story first. But GONE WITH THE WIND, THE SUN ALSO RISES, THE SOUND AND THE FURY, and THE POWER AND THE GLORY would’ve been exceptional books regardless of their titles. So would THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY, SHIP OF FOOLS, and ATLAS SHRUGGED. But in both groups, only SHIP OF FOOLS would’ve been a certain match for someone browsing the shelves of a library for something to read, since the story did indeed take place on a ship on which a lot of foolish people had embarked.
An Author’s First Responsibility Should be to Identify the Story’s Most Significant Element
Just as many writers have difficulty recognizing the genre in which their story is written, authors are often perplexed at how to express their story in terms that clearly relate its unique characteristics. If a writer works on this skill, and anyone who has any hope of becoming published must do this, channel this presentation into a ten second elevator pitch, since you’ll need to perfect one of these too. In these ten seconds, you’ll likely have spoken 15 to 20 words. Assuming you’ve toiled long and hard to craft your short presentation, what is the message?
Use the Power Point in the Elevator Pitch to Create Your Title
Since you’ve now analyzed your story to its most definitive level, something in the story has motivated you to come up with a powerful spit of rhetoric that says it all. Your story is brilliantly conceived and Fitzgerald should only have written as well. Now remember your favorite novels and think about the story lines and the titles. Look at your manuscript in the same way and imagine what would best reflect the words you wrote.
KANSAS FLASH might not be about University of Kansas and Chicago Bears football great Gayle Sayers, but the life of a county fair huckster who became a phony tent evangelist and then really turned to God (a modern-day Beckett); THE CRUMBLED HEART, instead of romance or horror, could be a story of the inability of a child prodigy to attain expected greatness; THE BITTER TASTE OF SWEET SUCCESS might tell the tale of a character like Harry Angstrom in the RABBIT series.
Keep in Mind that Your Publisher Will Have the Final Say
I happened to check Amazon for each of the three titles I just made up and none of them were listed. I suggest doing the same (and with your local library) with whatever you create. This is especially important if your title matches or impinges on another author’s in the same genre in which you are writing. This happened to me twice in fifteen years, so this is one subject I can relate to from personal experience and wish I couldn’t. And remember that no matter how good you think your title might be, the publisher may suggest or even require something different.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
The Problems with Contrived Writing Cannot be Overstated
Someone recently asked me about the meaning of contrived writing, and when I was coming up with some flagrant examples, this brought to mind a wonderful crossword
puzzle phrase: deus ex machina. I couldn’t remember how to pronounce it, so I went to dictionary.com and an elegant female voice enunciated it with what I assume to be the perfect inflection. And the correct delivery is critical to express the gravity of this devilishly problematic writing nightmare, which is any artificial or improbable device resolving the difficulties of a plot.
The Meaning of Contrived Writing Must be Clearly Understood
Some people assume “contrived” relates to material that is “obvious.” This, too, is certainly a meaning; but in the context of this article, contrived writing relates to anything that would not occur in a particular scene without some sort of miraculous intervention. What makes contrived scenes particularly difficult to reconcile is that a great many genuinely superb writers have resorted to fantastic good fortune to preserve their plot lines. Unfortunately, this weak writing does not often save the story. It is important for a novelist to consider that a large number of readers will put a book down for good when a character’s actions are deemed to be beyond fortuitous.
We Might Expect Superman to Break Down a Door and Save the Editor of The Daily Planet, but Not to do so on The Nightly News.
I refer to the writing of impossible scenes as the Marquez Syndrome. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE is a terrific story and in large measure contributed to Gabriel Garcia Marquez’ Noble Prize for Literature. But did the story require the mysticism? For me, it detracted from an otherwise perfectly executed saga. But this wasn’t contrived, just a vignette he employed in the tale. Some writers, however, have taken his technique to heart and utilized preternatural events to cover a plot point instead of writing relevance into the scene. Contrivance is much easier than going back in the narrative and creating a set up
for the overall plot element, with some authors forgetting that a single nonconforming thread can dog an entire story.
Even the Bard Wasn’t Immune
But Shakespeare had an excuse. Other than CORIOLANUS and a couple of other not
so egregious exceptions, he apparently was forced for a number of reasons to stick pretty close to a two hour time frame for his plays. Yet he made a mockery of the audience and later the reader with THE TEMPEST, a play that is one of his most acclaimed, and from which I remember several movies being made in just one short stretch (PROSPERO’S PAPERS, et al). With the ship being destroyed and the survivors stranded on the island in the opening act, the plot is horribly and irreparably vitiated when at the one hour and fifty-nine minute mark the ship is found essentially intact. At least this story was a fantasy from the outset, although Prospero’s powers as a magician never enabled the wrecked ship to appear in relatively sound condition. Chronology made this happen, not conjuring. Novelists are generally not on Shakespeare’s clock.
Not Many can Claim the Skills of Marquez or Shakespeare
And since most of us don’t possess their genius for writing, or dozens of titles under our belts and an international following, we’re probably better served if we write our scenes–and most certainly our story finales–with acceptable possibilities. If anyone should remember the ending in the television series DALLAS, this is a prime example of what constitutes a contrived scene–and how devastating it can be to an entire work. Contrived scenes are a certain sign of lazy writing, and as harsh as this sounds, one of the best ways to guarantee never being considered for publication.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
A Time when Size Really Matters
When is this chapter ever going to end?” This is a common rebuke heard by many
a weary soul. The quality of the story may not have diminished, but the chapter is not consistent in length with the rest of the book. And the reader is uncomfortable. No time
was allowed for the person to relax with the words.
Consistency with Chapter Length is Important
Harry Crews, whose writing is far-removed from the mainstream, dissected Graham Greene novels related to how many chapters they contained and the length of each. Crews had a number of reasons for doing this, and it can be suggested that a writer should look at his/her own work as Crews parsed Greene’s to create visual continuity that can translate to pacing and tone.
Genre as an Influence
However, when reviewing chapter length, a number of issues must be considered,
none-the-least of which is genre. A writer of literature, such as Pat Conroy, will have different chapter parameters from a mystery author like James Patterson, with the
separate and distinctive narrative nature of the disparate stories influencing chapter
length.
Clever Techniques that Provide the Perception of a Shorter Chapter
If a writer finds a chapter, for whatever reason, too long, there are techniques that can
be used to shorten the perception of a chapter’s length and provide the reader with some breathing room. One is to add an extra line space after the paragraph and the beginning
of the next (three spaces instead of two in a raw draft) to indicate a shift in the scene that, though evident, is not so great that a new chapter is desirable. Simply, the whole is still within the theme of that chapter. The other device is to use dots between a line break
to indicate a shift in the direction of the scene that is substantial, but still not such that a new chapter is deemed appropriate. Some publishers use elaborate symbols to accomplish the same thing.
Prudent Reasons for Section Breaks
It must be kept in mind that section breaks must have a distinct function–such as denoting a passage of time, a change of setting, or a point-of-view shift–to indicate a transition point that would otherwise confuse the reader by its absence. But just as section breaks enable the reader to take a deep breath, too many of these breaks, or if they are ill-placed, can confuse the reader as to why the change of direction was necessary. The story will appear choppy and therefore a poor read.
The Ultimate Test for a New Chapter
If you feel a chapter is too long or bloated, a good test is to look closely at the point at which you are contemplating a section break. Apply a simple concept: If you were getting tired of reading the chapter, wouldn’t the reader likely be feeling the same way?
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
An Instance in which Size Does Matter
Ten or so years ago, an editor who was between jobs, and soon thereafter became the editor-in-chief of a major publisher–where she remains today–took on the project to critique a novel I had written. But before she’d read one page of my manuscript, she warned me about paragraph length; simply, I should be certain my work was written for the most part in short paragraphs.
Chapter Length is of Prime Significance to the Readability Quotient
At first I thought it an odd, out-of-place comment, especially since she’d not yet received my manuscript. But then I thought about the Mystery genre in which the book was written and decided to parse the average paragraph lengths of authors whom my style most closely patterned. I was pleased that my word count was, on average, not abnormal. It was not until I began facilitating writing workshops that I fully understood why I was given the admonition.
Chapters that are Too Long can Kill Pacing; Try Inserting Dialogue when Realistic
One of the first problem areas I noticed with material from budding writers was run-on paragraphs. This occurred in dialogue as well as exposition, and it destroyed the pace of the narrative quicker than any other factor. While long paragraphs wear out the reader, there are simple ways to remedy this. And not always by simply breaking up the material into multiple paragraphs of continuing exposition. One is to insert dialogue. There is no easier way to break up a long paragraph than for a character to say something. However, this is not always feasible, so finding a suitable point and breaking up the paragraph is all that is left as a remedy. But where?
How Long is Too Long? Apply a Simple Test
We are trained that a paragraph should start and end a thought. But since sometimes these thoughts can be substantial, try this exercise: While you’re reading a paragraph you’ve written, consider its length as if it’s invested in your breathing process. If your breathing suddenly becomes labored, and you’re still reading the same paragraph, determine the point that caused your breathing to strain and begin a new paragraph with that sentence. You might have to rearrange a few words, but when you read the new shorter paragraph, check how much easier you are now able to transition to the next paragraph. And how much easier you happen to be breathing. You may have improved
the manuscript and the health of your readers at the same time.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
The first question some people might ask is why any writer would need to learn techniques related to Point of View. Doesn’t POV automatically synchronize with the character’s thoughts as soon as these feelings are expressed by the writer? And isn’t
the POV of a scene easily identified by an attribute or obvious implication? If it were
just this easy.
Shifting POV is Only a Problem When People Notice It
Some writers possess the skill to seamlessly shift from one person’s thoughts to another. As readers, we won’t give this the slightest concern–as long as we don’t realize when it’s occurring. But even some of the most well-respected novelists have at times jarred readers with ineffective POV shifts. So what is it that enables a POV change to be acceptable in one instance yet not in another?
A POV Shift Works When the Reader Finds it Desirable
Most writers make POV shifts in a traditional manner. They add a line space to signify another character’s thoughts, or go so far as to start a new chapter altogether. But some writers will elect to show multiple characters’ most intimate feelings–within the same frame–without the slightest hiccup. These adept authors are able to accomplish this for a reason.
POV shifts in the same scene are effective when we have become so involved in our characters that we want to know each of their innermost thoughts–immediately. Simply, the pacing and intensity of the storyline can eliminate what might otherwise create a problem for the reader.
So What’s a Writer to Do?
The ability to shift POV at will doesn’t mean its importance has lesser significance, but there might not be the need to worship its inexorably, either. There may indeed be that one instance in a novel, a hospital scene for example, when an accident victim is bandaged like a mummy, and the following could occur:
John Davis blinked and could make out a doctor standing next to his bed, staring at him with a stethoscope dangling from his neck as if it were being held by two tentacles. John’s thoughts turned to his wife. With his lips quivering through thin slits of blood-soaked gauze, John tried to ask about her condition, but no words came out. The physician wanted to leave, but realized by the anguish in his patient’s eyes that he couldn’t just walk away. He bent down to the broken man and said, “Mr. Davis,–”
Certainly, for consistent POV, the penultimate sentence might have read: John sensed that the physician wanted to leave, but something told him that he couldn’t. The doctor bent down and said, “Mr. Davis,–”
But is the scene as powerful if it’s left entirely in John’s POV? Or would the scene work better if the penultimate sentence began a new paragraph? I don’t think so, but this is an individual decision that is highly subjective, and anyone would be justified in disparaging
the illustration.
A Final Thought
Many learned people and grounded writers feel that POV is right next to Showing instead of Telling as an inviolable principal. And in most cases this is undeniably correct. But there might be that rare occurrence, such as in the example I offered, when a POV shift within
a scene might even be preferable. And I would hate to think that any writer would avoid providing the reader with insight into a another character because of POV convention. There are a lot of techniques available to enable the telling of a story and telling it well. And it’s obviously the choices that separate writers.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
For many, tone and voice seem synonymous, and it is easy to see why people might
feel this way, however, the terms are decidedly different. But before either can be properly differentiated, it is important to take a close look at writers who mastered voice.
Thomas Mann’s Short Stories Showcase Voice
One of the best ways to understand something is to provide different treatments of
the subject. Thomas Mann’s eight stories in the popular Vintage imprint with DEATH IN VENICE as the lead title is ideal to work from since each story is written in a different voice. Yet Mann’s masterpiece, THE MAGIC MOUNTAIN, depicts his voice as a separate entity unto its own–and one could say that it was his true voice.
While the short stories in the DEATH IN VENICE Vintage compendium enable a relatively quick study of the range voice can take, this is far from conclusive. The reason is because voice is without boundaries. This open architecture, in and of itself, leads to much of the confusion about voice. And this is the first distinction between voice and tone, since tone can generally be identified without too much of an argument.
So What is Voice?
When someone hears that a “new voice has exploded upon the literary scene,” does one automatically expect to read the next Marcel Proust, Virginia Wolfe, Ann Rand, Ralph Ellison, William Faulkner, or Erskine Caldwell; or should we seek writers from our current era such as Pat Conroy, Elmore Leonard, E.L. Doctorow, Tom Clancy, or Barbara Kingsolver for reference?
Each of these writers possesses a distinctive voice, but what do we say about authors who create work in the same genre and are similar in style? Does each writer still have a separate voice? Of course he or she does. Just as one singer can sound like another but not possess the identical range in every key.
An Attorney Letter and Family Correspondence on the Same Subject Illustrate the Difference
One of the best ways I can think of to express voice is to compare an invitation to the reading of a will from an attorney with the same request from a close relative.
The first might read something like this: Dear Mr. David C. Howson: Please be advised that your attendance is requested on Thursday, January 11, 2009, at 1:00 p.m., in the offices of John Carlton Jones, Esquire, Attorney at Law, 201 West Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60601, for the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Horatio Clark Howson, etc.
Conversely, here is an invitation from a close relative: Dear Davey, your uncle’s will
is going to be read next week at our attorney’s office, and we look forward to seeing you there. Jo Ann will call you for with the details. Love, Aunt Mary.
Style Establishes Voice, but There’s a Lot More to it
Same message about the dearly departed, and although both are conveyed in what is considered a soft tone in relative terms, they are written in decidedly different voices. So while it is safe to say that style creates voice as much as the words that are used, what about an academic paper written in an authoritative tone? Isn’t this also an authoritative voice? Certainly, except it would probably be easier for definition purposes to claim the voice as authoritative and the tone as strong.
Tone has Three Basic Mediums
For practical purposes, tone is either soft, moderate, or strong. These areas of course can have any number of gradients, from very soft to aggressively strong, but the three delineations provide the basis for comparison. This is still speculative, because what one person considers moderate another might feel is strong (and of course vice versa). But
it’s much easier to come to a consensus on a specific tone than to devise a chart that categorizes voice.
So, Again, What is Voice?
Voice is you. Should you and another person write a book about the identical topic, your story will reflect your way of telling the tale via words and syntax that differ from what the other writer has used. So when you write a book, and the critics proclaim a fantastic new voice has roared onto the scene, these pundits are talking specifically about you, because you are the voice of your writing. And a unique voice indeed.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Writing Better Fiction – Beware when Action does Not Constitute Movement
One of the most serious issues facing many writers is the ability to maintain the action throughout the narrative. Unfortunately, the mere creation of a dramatic occurrence does not guarantee plot movement.
The literary critic for The Palm Beach Post, Scott Eyman, has written many outstanding books on the legends of the cinema. In an article he wrote some years ago pertaining to a trend in film making that was conceived to sustain an audience’s attention span, he stated, “Action has become confused with movement.” I was so taken by what I felt was an exceptionally acute and accurate comment, I asked for and received his permission to cite his line, since I am of the opinion this issue applies equally to crafting a novel.
There is a Time When you may have to Kill your Babies
In writing, a glaring fault occurs when an otherwise perfectly good scene has nothing
to do with the plot. And what happens when the story has evolved, from that plot element, to the state of rendering the scene superfluous or no longer pertinent to the story–but the writer doesn’t want to lose the scene? As harsh as it sounds, to paraphrase Faulkner, this
is the time the writer may have to kill his or her babies. But not many who write their
gems want to do it. And not without a battle of intestinal tumult that often reaches epic proportions.
Whether Exposition or Dialogue, Lateral Movement is Equally Deadly to Advancing the Plot
No aspect of a narrative is immune, and to imply the problem is found more in exposition than dialogue would likely be inaccurate, but flat scenes seem easier to
identify in the latter. Stagnant dialogue while dining, for example, although much less dramatic, is not dissimilar in its end result for a moviegoer who experiences a fight
scene or an explosion or a car chase that is ridiculously positioned or overused as a
plot point. In leaving the theater and asking why a particular scene was in the movie,
there is no difference should a reader say that a passage of exposition or a rift of
dialogue had nothing to do with the story line of a novel.
Writers of Books Don’t have the Luxury Filmmakers Possess
But movie makers have an advantage, since their medium is visual. A lot can be remedied in a couple of minutes and a few scene changes. A novel requires much more time to regain the reader’s confidence after a lull in the narrative. And it requires much
less effort to put down a flawed book that might take another eight hours to read than
to hang around the theater for a half hour until the movie ends.
It is Impractical to Write around an Ineffective Scene
It sounds simple, but this is the whole magilla: For anyone desiring publication by a quality royalty publisher, all of the words have to be focused toward the goal of advancing the plot. If not, revise or cut them. It is impossible to write the plot around rhetoric in its original context, no matter how brilliant it might be, if it does not move the story forward. When a writer accepts this, the task of transitioning prose becomes easier (sometimes exponentially so) and the overall narrative, with the rarest of exceptions, more effective.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
The Perfect Write (TM) provides an affordable, easy-to-use, and 100% confidential solution for converting a letter’s premise into the most effective correspondence possible.
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simples Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write (TM) can craft correspondence to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robert_L._Bacon
It is important to recognize all of the various writing components that can be utilized
to develop and enhance characterization. Yet while dialogue is definitely one of these elements, it is often reduced to a lesser status. Here is a typical textbook definition that,
via the specific omission of dialogue by name, diminishes this writing medium as a valuable means for crafting characterization:
Characterization is the process of conveying information about characters. Characters are usually presented through their actions, dialect, and thoughts, as well as by description. Characterization can regard a variety of aspects of a character, such as appearance, age, gender, educational level, vocation or occupation, financial status, marital status, social status, cultural background, hobbies, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, ambitions, motivations, personality, etc.
While dialect is mentioned, and this reference certainly indicates the use of dialogue,
the insinuation can hardly be described as comprehensive. Perhaps nothing can more adequately place the reader in the mind of a character than the dialogue attributed to that individual. Nor can we learn any more about an environment, whether physical or social, than through reading dialogue.
A Contemporary Novel with 100% Dialogue
For an exercise in excellence in this medium, regardless of one’s liking or not for Stephen King (as a writer, I regard him as a super genius), DELORES CLAIBORNE is an extraordinary example of the use of dialogue to tell a story. And in this instance, the entire text is structured around Delores speaking, and without one word of interior monologue or
a single adverb attribute.
Reading Suggestions that Demonstrate Outstanding Dialogue
GOD’S LITTLE ACRE, THE SOUND AND THE FURY, RABBIT RUN and TORTILLA FLAT
are all classics that contain extraordinary characterizations portrayed through dialogue.
For purely contemporary readers, anything by Elmore Leonard will be of benefit, however, GLITZ may be the book to parse first.
Many find creating good dialogue to be the most arduous aspect of their writing. And
it is hard to argue that straight dialogue can be inherent with problems. But when a writer considers dialogue as a means of communicating characterization, then the task can be much less daunting and a perfect way to present a story with greater depth and more definitive focus.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
It would be nice to relate that few writers ever have pacing issues, but as any novelist knows, the story’s tempo is often–as it should be–on the forefront of an author’s mind.
In the writing workshops I facilitate that are sponsored by the Palm Beach County Library System, budding authors often ask about ways to better pace their material. One
of my suggestions is to insert dialogue if the scene is flagging. This, of course, isn’t always possible or even practical, however, I find this option is available more often than it isn’t. And this is another reason why learning to craft effective dialogue is important (sic, paramount) to any writer’s success.
Dialogue can Promote “Showing” and Eliminate “Telling”
Another of the greatest benefits of developing dialogue skills is the inherent subjugation
of the dreaded “Show Don’t Tell” dilemma. This is because dialogue automatically creates action, since the characters are speaking. As a bi-product, dialogue also encourages the writer to maintain an active tense and write around passive tense; i.e., “have been,” “had been,” “would’ve been”, etc.
Reading “Out-Loud” What We Write is Never More Important than With Dialogue
In discussing dialogue in general, it is critical to understand that we can’t write like we talk, anymore than we can talk like we write. It is the ability to write between the two that makes for quality dialogue. And the best way to determine if the goal has been met, as in all writing, is to read aloud what was written.
And if it sounds bad the initial time we read it, it isn’t going to get any better, no matter how many more times we traipse through it. What will happen by re-reading is that we will memorize the lines or the pattern of the dialogue so we can read it more fluently. But the person who will be reading it for the first time is not going to have the author’s patience or persistence. Hence, if we stumble the first time and we wrote it, rewrite it!
Steinbeck and Leonard as Models of Great Dialogists
I wrote in an earlier Ezine article, “Four Authors of Classical Contemporary Literature Defined the Craft of Writing Perfect Prose,” and stated, as a dialogist, it is hard to dispute Steinbeck’s brilliance. In the medium of dialogue, if he is not considered the quintessential classicist, few would dispute that he is certainly near the very apogee of this element of the craft. However, from a purely contemporary standpoint, many, of which I am a subscriber, find Elmore Leonard the current standard-bearer.
Editors Often Consider a Writer’s Dialogue Skills First
Regardless of whomever and from whichever era a writer chooses to study material, many renowned managing editors have documented that dialogue is often the first aspect
of a novelist’s ability they consider when contemplating a work for publication. That, in itself, should tell anyone the importance placed on dialogue.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
Sometimes Telling is More Effective than Showing
An author and scholar for whom I have immense respect added fuel to a long simmering fire by stating in a recent book of hers on writing that too much is made out of Showing instead of Telling. To paraphrase one of her points, she writes that the avoidance of telling leads to confusion which causes novice writers to think everything should be acted out. And to quote her, “There are many occasions in literature in which telling is far more effective than showing.”
Agents and Editors are the Harshest of Critics
If everyone wrote as well as this woman (she has over two dozen titles to her credit), or the brilliant mostly classical authors and their literary works she cites in her book, who could argue? And that is the rub. Especially for someone trying to become published for the first time, and who is having his or her manuscript viewed by the harshest of critics–book agents and book editors. People who are seemingly searching, as if with an electron microscope, for the most miniscule detail to warrant rejecting material.
Don’t Wave a Red Flag – Avoid the Dreaded “Been’s”
In the real world of an author fighting tooth-and-nail for his or her manuscript to receive a fair hearing, the writer has to provide a narrative that does not wave a red flag–or even a yellow one. Nothing can kill a book quicker than if it is perceived to be written in a passive voice, which is most often indicative of scenes crafted in a Telling rather than Showing form. Other than breaking up too many uses of “was” or “were” by substituting an occasional “had been” or “have been,” it is important to avoid the “been’s” and therefore the passive voice narratives that Telling has a tendency to engender.
If a Choice, Overwrite Show Rather Than Tell
While it is 100% correct that many times it is advisable to Tell instead of Show, for most authors pursuing a major royalty publisher, it is much better to have overwritten Show than Tell. Let me put it this way: I’ve never heard of anyone being rejected for the former, but very often for the latter. So while the ongoing Show versus Tell debate may whet some appetites for eschewing the argument altogether, writers need to incorporate as many accepted elements as possible into their material, and Showing (and the active voice is supports) is considered a component of quality prose writing in the overwhelming number
of instances.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
With an Ear for the Reader, Understand the Value of Contractions for Realism in Dialogue
A major hindrance to realistic dialogue is the inability to recognize the value of contractions to enable fluency. Dialogue quickly becomes stilted due to the non-use of contractions, and the narrative tends to read like dissertation material or a legal brief. Unless the character is not familiar with spoken English, or if the writer wishes to create
and maintain an accent, when constructing dialogue it is generally advisable to use contractions whenever possible.
Early on, we Learn to Avoid Writing Dialogue Like People Actually Speak
Related to dialogue and creative writing, from the first sentence of the initial lecture we attend or book we read, the adage is the same: for dialogue to work, it must not be written in the exact way we speak; conversely, dialogue normally would not be spoken in the same syntax in which it is written. Unfortunately, this is a difficult element to comprehend for a lot of writers, and poorly conceived dialogue knocks out manuscripts quicker in the eyes of many agents and publishers than any other factor.
Read the Line Fast, first Without and then With the Contraction(s)
If a writer reads the line of dialogue fast–first without a contraction(s) and then with–and applies the intended inflection along the way, a good sense of pitch can be ascertained. When multiple contractions are a possibility in a sentence, this “fast read technique” not only helps to determine if contractions will benefit the dialogue, but where, since many times a contraction works well in the first spit of dialogue, but not later in the same sentence–or vice versa. This of course also applies to exposition, but the evil non-contraction as a contributor to stilted rhetoric tends to be more marked in dialogue, and, as stated, imminent death for a manuscript.
It’s all About Pitch
Most people have a favorite author or two they like to read purely for pleasure. If we ask why, we’re generally told it’s because those writers are easy to read. Pick up someone’s work you enjoy relaxing with, and start parsing just the dialogue out loud. (After I wrote this line, I pulled down books by Barbara Kingsolver, Larry McMurtry, and Colleen McCullough to support my point.) You won’t have to search for the contractions; they’ll find you. Now take a sentence and read it instead with two-word substitutes for the contraction(s), paying attention solely to the new pitch of that sentence. I don’t have to guess if there was a negative impact, and in many instances I imagine it was profound.
Good writing happens for a reason, and the proper utilization of contractions in dialogue is a powerful stepping-stone for improving prose writing skills.
Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com
Special Offer for Authors
Free Query Letter Review & Analysis, a $57.50 Value
Paste Query to theperfectwrite@aol.com (No Attachments)
For Information on Query Letter Design & Composition
Visit the Form Page on this Site & Follow the Simple Steps
For more information on how The Perfect Write® can craft material to benefit you, please visit us at theperfectwrite.com
