I wrote an article some time ago about the significance of concentrating on writing narrative that advances the plot.  A number of people E-mailed me to ask if I could provide examples of specific situations that stall the action.

Avoid these Amateur Writing Mistakes

One classic faux pas is the unnecessary set up to a phone call.  If Tom wants to talk to Bill, begin the call with Tom or Bill talking on the phone, not the picking up of the phone, the waiting for the ring, or anything else that has nothing to do with the content of the call, such as this:  Tom walked to the phone.  He picked it up in his left hand and punched in the numbers with his right index finger.  On the second ring Bill answered.  “Bill here.”  “Hi Bill, this is Tom.”  “Well, hello, Tom.  How are you?”  “I’m fine, I hope you are too.”  “Yes, I’m pretty good.”

Another scene never to write is the greeting with a receptionist:  Tom walked into the waiting area to Bill’s office and approached a woman sitting behind a desk in the middle of the room.  “Miss, my name is Tom Miller, and I’m here to see Bill Jones.  He’s expecting me.”  “One moment, I’ll see if he’s in.”  “Mr. Jones, Tom Miller is here to see you.”  “I’m expecting him.  Please send him in.”  “Mr. Miller, Mr. Jones can see you now.”

Nothing can Shut Down a Novel Quicker than Describing Mundane Activity

Each of the prior examples illustrate serious writing deficiencies, and unless there is high anxiety attached to either scenario, such as Bill coming back from the dead or being overly cautious in an attempt to conceal his affair with the receptionist, neither incident should
be played out for the reader.  To state that Bill called Tom is all that is necessary before proceeding to the dialogue.  Likewise, the phrase Bill met with Tom is all that is required to move the story to the start of a run of dialogue.

Search for Writing that Retards Pacing and Eliminate It

When reviewing a manuscript, it is always helpful to approach each scene with the attitude of deleting anything that is not absolutely critical to the story.  And while this might seem harsh, since there is always material that is supportive of the whole, there is generally a great deal that can be cut.  Especially if a passage should mirror either example in this article.  The ability to recognize and delete superfluous rhetoric is essential for anyone wishing to be considered by a major royalty publisher.

Robert L. Bacon
robertlbacon@aol.com

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