I recently critiqued a spate of unpublished manuscripts that were well written for the most part except for what I refer to as “literary retro,” and I thought it might be a good
idea to address what my phrase encompasses.

It’s a Lot More than the Overuse of Commas

For many readers and writers, the most obvious instance of “dated” writing is material with excess comma usage that mirrors the respective styles of Henry James, Jane Austin, and other Victorian-era authors of classical literature. But the problematic issues with antiquated writing are much more extensive than abundant commas, and include placing
a character’s thoughts in quotations, combining different tenses, and awkward POV shifts. And many of the worst offenders are recipients of literature’s most prestigious awards.

A Prime Violator at Placing Thoughts in Quotations

Kafka wrote THE METAMORPHOSIS approximately 100 years ago. The work’s value as
a dream-narrative is indisputable, but the author’s quoting of thoughts can be misconstrued as an acceptable technique–when it is not. Bob thought, “What can I do now?” is going to rapidly send a manuscript to the slush pile; whereas, Bob wondered what he was going to do next, while not scintillating writing (and flagrant Telling and not Showing), would not in itself most likely discourage an agent or publisher from continuing to read the draft.

Even Recipients of Literature’s Most Prestigious Awards are Guilty of Verb Tense Errors

In Bernard Malamud’s THE FIXER, for which he received a Pulitzer Prize, in a couple of instances the author shifts from past to present tense in such an uneven way that it stops the reader. Knut Hamsun, a Norwegian writer–who won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1920–wrote HUNGER, and any who read it can readily experience the problems with shifting tense. I can only assume that the Nobel committee thought this was stylish at the time, but anyone parsing the work today would not be advised to consider writing this way and expect any chance of being considered by a major royalty publisher.

Saul Bellow and POV

In two instances I am aware of in THE VICTIM, Saul Bellow inexplicably shifts POV so abruptly that I had to read both scenes several times to try to figure out who was speaking. Anyone familiar with Mr. Bellow knows he won a Pulitzer Prize for HUMBOLDT’S GIFT and was also the recipient of the Nobel Prize for Literature. But while he got away with these POV indiscretions, none of us would likely be as fortunate with our own efforts, so it would be prudent not to be influenced by THE VICTIM, lest we become one.

Good Writers Don’t Copy Bad Examples

It is traumatic when someone who has studied classical literature begins serious writing, only to learn that much of what was thought to be acceptable is not. This is why many mentors will recommend to their students that, once they read the past masters, it is a good idea to spend a comparable amount of time with the current ones. Regardless of a person’s taste (or distaste for my selections), reading successful contemporary authors such as Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen King, John Grissom, Barbara Kingsolver, James Patterson, Colleen McCullough, Dan Browne, Sue Grafton, Nelson DeMille, and Pat Conroy, for example, will demonstrate the value of correctly placed quotation marks, maintaining tense, and paying strict attention to writing in a consistent POV.

A Thought on Structure as Well as Stricture

It behooves a writer to study what successful contemporary material looks like, not
just stylistically–but from the perspective of conventional formatting–however, there are
of course exceptions in this latter environment too. In Charles Frazier’s wildly successful COLD MOUNTAIN, he employed em dashes, a technique I hadn’t seen in so long (sic,
James Joyce) that I’d forgotten what they were called. I don’t suggest trying this or other non-traditional ways to set up text, any more than it’s beneficial to violate current strictures in an attempt to draw attention to one’s writing.

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